After losing her son in 2015, Carol Haywood and her husband, Harvey Haywood, found comfort during the holiday season by traveling to Flowood for a remembrance ceremony.
But as the years passed, driving there and back became too much. When Carol learned the 16th Circuit District Attorney’s Office was planning a similar ceremony closer to home where they could honor the memory of her son Kristopher “Kris” Haywood, she was excited.
“Any time I can come and be with other people that have lost a loved one, and then still remember our son, it makes me happy,” she told The Dispatch.
On Thursday, the Haywoods and other families who have lost a loved one to violence came together at the Columbus Municipal Complex for a tree lighting ceremony. It was the first of what the DA’s office hopes to make an annual tradition to bring some comfort to survivors during the holidays.
“We have to do something for them because the law does not do anything for survivors,” Assistant District Attorney Trina Davidson said during the ceremony. “The law focuses more on punishing the person who has taken that loved one’s life, but nothing toward … what you go through on a daily basis living and dealing with the fact that your loved one has been taken by some form of violence.”
Survivors of violent crime victims were invited to paint ornaments in memory of their loved ones to hang on a Christmas tree after a brief ceremony. District Attorney Scott Colom said he and his staff specifically wanted to hold an event during the holiday season.
“The holidays … are very difficult for survivors of gun violence and any type of violence because they’ve got a loved one that’s missing,” he said. “Coming together and recognizing that harm and that pain and that loss and acknowledging it instead of leaving them to deal with the grief alone … I felt like it was an important thing in helping them.”
Following the ceremony, survivors were invited to hang their hand painted ornaments on the Christmas tree. The tree is meant to be a symbol of healing, Davidson said.
“It symbolizes endurance, and it symbolizes renewal,” she said. “You all have been through a lot over the past years, especially after losing your loved one, and we want to be a part of that process and help you continue to heal.”
Victim Assistance Director Tina Rogers said the DA’s office sent invitations to each of the survivors it has worked with across Lowndes, Oktibbeha, Clay and Noxubee counties, and roughly 60 people came. The hope, she said, is to remind survivors that they aren’t alone in their grief.
“Unfortunately, there are other families that are going through the same thing, so it’s one of our tasks to bring them together so they can have that community support,” she said. “If we build on that, if we connect and link all the way around the … district, (through) all the four counties, then we’ll have a good, strong support system for all of our victims.”
By bringing survivors together, they will know who in the community has dealt with the same grief and who they can go to for support, Rogers said.
“Sometimes if you talk to someone who has been through the same or similar situations … they can build that friendship without us in the middle of it,” she said. “That way we’re building a bridge and helping to bring the community together versus tearing it apart.”
Marie Halthon, a survivor who spoke during the ceremony, lost her son Lorenzo Halthon in 2020. Finding others who have similar experiences with grief is like finding a family, she said.
“We’ve all lost a loved one, but we have truly gained a family filled with love,” she said.
Colom said feedback about the event has been positive, and he intends for there to be another ceremony next year. It’s important for survivors to know they aren’t forgotten, he said.
“When people talk about crime, we have to acknowledge that (for) survivors, it’s not just a talking point, it’s a pain,” Colom said. “What we’ve got to do is our part to get justice for them, but also do our part to let them know that once the legal process is over, we haven’t forgotten about them.”
McRae is a general assignment and education reporter for The Dispatch.
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Quality, in-depth journalism is essential to a healthy community. The Dispatch brings you the most complete reporting and insightful commentary in the Golden Triangle, but we need your help to continue our efforts. In the past week, our reporters have posted 47 articles to cdispatch.com. Please consider subscribing to our website for only $2.30 per week to help support local journalism and our community.
