Live in the moment, they say.
For Brittany Sanders, that’s the hard part.
The past reflects the glow of living the life she had always dreamed of. The future is grounded in a stubborn optimism over a suddenly uncertain future.
For Brittany Sanders, living in the moment means dropping off her three babies — ages 3, 2 and seven months — at day care, then driving 2 1/2 hours to Birmingham to be with her husband Shawn, who is undergoing treatment for a spinal injury that remains something of a mystery to the doctors at Spain Rehabilitation Center, which is affiliated with University of Alabama-Birmingham Medical Center. She can stay only a few hours, rushing back to her hometown of West Point to pick up the kids. She does this five days a week, resting as much as she can over the weekend while worrying about Shawn’s condition.
It’s been like this for five months now. Along the way, the washing machine quit working, the refrigerator had to be repaired, and their house sprung a water leak. Day care costs $1,400 a month. Shawn’s condition seems to take regular turns for the worse — most recently losing control of his bladder and bowels because of nerve damage associated with his spinal damage.
Brittany hasn’t drawn a paycheck since December. Shawn hasn’t brought home a paycheck in 14 months. Friends and family donated to the GoFundMe account she set up in April, but after raising $13,000, the donations have slowed considerably, and just paying the bills and beginning work on making their home handicap accessible means the money goes out about as fast as it comes in.
The situation is pretty close to desperate, Brittany said.
“It’s all about getting by day-to-day now,” she said. “I’m exhausted, physically and emotionally. I’ve seen a change in Shawn, too. He was so optimistic at first. Now he has severe depression. He’s angry. He’s frustrated. He’s heartbroken. The surgery that was supposed to have got him back to normal so he could work caused permanent nerve damage. He’ll never work again. We are told the best we can hope for is that Shawn will be able to walk short distances with special equipment or a walker.”
Sometimes, she wonders how things went so bad, so fast.
Accident alters family’s landscape
Shawn Sanders, now 38, joined the U.S. Army in 2014 and might have made a career of it had it not been for a back injury that led to a medical discharge in 2019. He wasn’t classified as disabled, so he went to work back in West Point where he worked as a welder for a construction company.
For a time, he endured the pain that really never dissipated since his injury. The pain became so bad that he began missing work until his company let him go in June 2023. He had three surgeries in the next few months, but none offered much relief.
Even so, he remained hopeful that the next surgery would end his pain and allow him to get back to work to support his young family. On March 21, he had an outpatient spinal fusion operation that went horribly wrong. He’s been in the hospital ever since.
“We knew something was wrong right away,” Brittany said. “The first day he woke up screaming and hollering. He was in tremendous pain and saying he couldn’t feel his legs. They told us he would be better the next day. The second day wasn’t any better. We finally got him to Birmingham and that’s when we first started getting some answers, but we still don’t know everything. He is getting treatment and the next step is getting him into a rehab facility.”
In the meantime, Brittany keeps going.
“I try to keep my head up, but it’s not always easy,” she said. “I’m getting through by relying on my faith and my family, especially my mom. She’s been my main helper.”
Others have offered to help out with the kids so that Brittany can get some much-needed rest.
“But to be honest, it seems like most of the time that falls through,” she said. “When I need help, the timing just never seems to be right.”
Hoping for help from strangers
Brittany, 31, said she has no idea how long it will be until Shawn can return home and the family can make something resembling a normal life.
He plans to apply for disability, but the process can be lengthy.
There’s still a long journey ahead and whatever help the family will get now relies mostly on strangers now.
“We have gotten some small grants and we’ve had one fundraiser, but we still need help,” Brittany said. “We’re asking people to make donations, but if they can’t, just keep our family in their prayers.”
Brittany said when the weight of it all seems almost too much to bear, she thinks of her three children, who she and Shawn consider their treasures.
In a text to a supporter, Brittany spoke of the bond she and Shawn share and how they are relying on faith to make it through:
“We will continue to love unconditionally and obey whatever God has planned for us,” she wrote. “There is a plan for us and we will, someday soon, see it. We will keep pushing forward and try to see the light at the end of the tunnel even if it is barely shining at the moment.”
To donate to the Sanders family, visit their GoFundMe page at https://www.gofundme.com/f/pmdnp-help-for-the-sanders-family.
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
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Quality, in-depth journalism is essential to a healthy community. The Dispatch brings you the most complete reporting and insightful commentary in the Golden Triangle, but we need your help to continue our efforts. In the past week, our reporters have posted 39 articles to cdispatch.com. Please consider subscribing to our website for only $2.30 per week to help support local journalism and our community.
