Americans fall generally into two categories when it comes to the issue of abortion.
A 2014 Gallup poll showed 46 percent of Americans identified themselves as “pro-life” while 47 percent identified as “pro-choice.” That leaves seven percent who aren’t committed. I have an idea about why that should be so.
There are people who identify as both “pro-choice” and “pro-life.”
My friend — I’ll call her “Erica” — is one of those people.
Erica and her husband are typical Mississippians. They are in their late 50s. They both work, but live pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck. They go to church, vote in all the elections and like to garden. They generally vote Republican.
Up until last year, both identified as “pro-life,” following the teachings of their church and their consciences.
Erica remains pro-life today.
Only now, she is pro-choice, too. Life has a way of shaking convictions sometimes. This is one of those stories.
Their 24-year-old daughter — we’ll call her Anna — has struggled most of her life with emotional and mental health issues and, since her teens, drug abuse. It’s been a constant struggle marked by small successes and wounding failures.
Last year, Anna confided to Erica that she was pregnant.
At that moment, the issue of abortion wasn’t a theoretical, moral debate. It “got real,” as Erica put it.
Erica and her husband urged Anna to consider all options other than abortion. They lobbied for her to either keep the child — even offering to raise the child themselves — or put the child up for adoption.
What all three agreed on was that Anna was not even remotely equipped to raise the child on her own.
Anna was torn by emotions and, although she immediately leaned toward abortion, she did not rule out the other options. She, too, agonized the impending decision.
Through those difficult days, Erica and her husband realized with alarming clarity their opinion was not the one that mattered most. It became more and more apparent the only person who could — or should — make that decision was the person for whom the consequences fell most heavily upon.
Anna had an abortion last spring.
It came down to choice, after all. Their choice or their daughter’s choice. It had to be Anna’s choice. They are convinced of that.
Before last spring, the question of abortion had been simple as far as Erica was concerned. There were no doubts, no misgivings, no hesitations. She was quite confident, almost to the point of arrogance.
That attitude is, in truth, pretty common on both sides of the issue.
Pro-life absolutists will point to adoption as the humane answer. Yet in Mississippi alone, more than 6,000 children are in foster care. There’s no big rush to adopt those children, as far as can be determined.
Outlaw abortion? Doing that will only ensure that the poor, those least equipped with the awesome responsibility of raising a child, will feel the burden of the law. For the more affluent, abortion will remain an option as long as there are overseas flights. Just six countries ban abortion under all conditions.
Some will also point to examples of how a mother bravely chose to give birth and the child grew up to be a great person. Those examples are true and inspiring.
Yet there also those children born in similar circumstances, who are unwanted, unloved, abused, neglected, condemned to squalor and misery. You will find them in our prisons and our cemeteries. Those examples are true and disturbing.
The debate will not end, at least not anytime soon.
But one thing we should be able to agree on is that the decision is not an easy one, not when it “gets real.”
Erica says she sees no inconsistency in being both pro-life and pro-choice.
She discovered she can’t be one or the other.
That’s probably true for far more Americans than we are willing to admit.
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
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