Two years ago, Aimee Bradley’s daughter didn’t think anything of exchanging online messages with someone she had never met.
It was a friend of a friend of a friend type of thing. The person apparently lived in Oxford and started texting the 16-year-old junior from New Hope High School.
Luckily nothing came of it. When Bradley found out, she put a stop to it — it’s too easy for child predators to trick kids into inappropriate relationships online, she said.
For this reason, she keeps track of her children’s online activities. All four of her kids know their mother has their passwords and is friends with their friends online so she knows who they’re talking to.
“I’m not afraid to set up boundaries,” she said. “I think more people should set up boundaries.”
Capt. Brent Swan with the Columbus Police Department has over the years had multiple reports from parents who found explicit messages on their children’s cell phones or social media accounts. Just last week, the CPD arrested a 24-year-old Columbus man accused of trying to lure a child younger than 14 through Facebook. This week, a former Starkville coach was sentenced for two acts of the same charge.
“Be nosy parents,” Swan said. “Keep informed on what they’re doing because they may be having conversations with somebody they think is their age and yet it may be an adult or someone who is actually preying on that child.”
Lt. Brett Watson with the Oktibbeha County Sheriff’s Office had the same advice. As a parent himself, he’s friends with his kids on social media and keeps track of what they’re posting.
“I try not to be an overbearing parent — kids will be kids — but I want to be able to make sure that if there’s a hint of a dangerous situation, that I can step in if necessary,” he said.
He’s seen predators pose as teenagers and try to convince girls in particular to send nude photos of themselves or meet somewhere in person. Those photos could be shared on child pornography websites, Watson said, or those teens who meet in person could be forced into a sex trafficking organization.
With more and more teenagers on an increasing number of social media accounts, these worries are more of a concern for parents than ever.
“I think kids are more trusting than adults,” New Hope High School counselor Kendra Boyett said. “They believe you when you say, ‘Oh, I’m a 15-year-old boy that lives in Columbus,’ but you’re really a 35-year-old man who may not live in Columbus.”
Boyett makes sure New Hope students know the risks with being online — risks which include not just child predators, but the dangers of sexting, cyber bullying or run-of-the-mill posts that teens make without thinking but which future college admissions counselors or employers could see.
That’s why it’s critical parents have conversations with their children about staying safe online before those kids have even hit middle school, said Cherie Benjoseph, co-founder of KidSafe Foundation, a Florida-based nonprofit that works to keep children safe from sexual abuse.
Her advice for parents: Talk to children early and often.
Being an approachable parent
“I recommend that parents become proactive and not wait for any kind of crisis to occur and just sit down and listen,” Benjoseph said. “Have conversations, not just a one time conversation … about the impact of what they do online.”
She added that it’s important to make sure the teens know that if they do run into trouble online, they can go to the adults in their lives who will help them out of it and without judging them.
“It’s being approachable parents that really helps drive these points home,” she said.
It’s the responsibility of parents not just to talk to their kids but to do their own online research about the latest websites and apps, what those sites’ privacy settings are and how they work to make sure they know what media their kids are using.
Columbus resident Kelly Soule, whose 17-year-old is a senior at New Hope, made sure her daughter knew early on that Soule would keep track of what she was doing online.
“We have a very good relationship,” Soule said. “She shows me a lot of things, so I don’t feel like I have to check it as often.”
When her daughter was first starting to use social media in middle school, Soule and her husband had talks with her about making sure her account settings were private, not accepting friend requests from people she didn’t know in person and not putting her location on social media accounts.
Now Soule’s having to think about those same conversations for her 10-year-old son. He wants an Xbox live account so he can play video games with other people online. Soule won’t let him have one yet.
“I am very concerned about the fact that predators will often go through these gaming sites,” she said.
Soule says her kids trust her and know the rules because she laid those rules down when they first began going online.
“That has worked out well to have open communication,” she said. “Set your expectations earlier and it’ll be a lot easier when they’re older.”
Online safety tips for parents
■ Establish technology free times and zones.
■ Establish with your child that you will periodically check their cell phone.
■ Connect with and check your child’s online profiles regularly to see what they are posting.
■ Make sure your child has the correct age listed on their profile.
■ Talk with your child about privacy settings on every network where they maintain a profile, and make sure the profile is age appropriate.
■ Talk with your child about who they “friend” online. Online friends should be only those they know personally in the offline world.
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