Tongue-in-cheek ‘litter survey’

We would like to thank those who unknowingly or unwittingly (my preferred term) participated in our county litter survey. Our area is possibly ranked by out-of-town visitors as the litter capital of America, which could be obvious to the most casual observer. This gave us the idea to gather data that no one would buy like many other studies we read about.

We now know people’s vendor of preference for fast food, type food, wrapping, containers, and associated condiments. This conclusion was easily reached because litterers were gracious enough to throw all these items together in one bag, which was easily accessible along the road shoulders. Many times they would throw newly-purchased containers on top of litter bags that had been filled by paid help before the bags could be picked up. Determining beer and soft drink preferences were more difficult. The bottles traveled further when they were thrown from a moving vehicle. Of course aluminum cans travel shorter distance than glass bottles due to difference in weight. Styrofoam containers were even more difficult because their light weight allows wind to scatter them.

We talked with pickup drivers after observing items blowing from the rear truck beds. Each time the drivers said they did not litter as it was the wind that blew items from the beds. As a result, we hypothetically (meaning we could have if desired) discussed this phenomenon with PhDs in physics. Their conclusion was that if the same or similar items were placed in the truck beds and were subjected to the same speed conditions, they would blow out 99 percent of the time. Who would have thought?

Economics were another consideration. We talked with someone who reminded us of Warren Buffet. His conclusion was that paying taxes, littering and then paying someone to pick up the litter was not an economically sound practice. Again, who would have thought?

Now that our study is complete, you can now dispose of your litter in your home containers and let it be picked up with your other household garbage you are already paying a monthly fee for pickup.

Kathy Howell

Columbus

Editor’s note: Earlier this month, former Dispatch publisher Birney Imes wrote of picking up trash and anti-litter campaigns, and we published an anti-litter graphic designed by Columbus artist Larry Feeney and Dispatch graphic artist Tina Perry. That graphic has since been printed on static cling stickers, which are available for free to businesses and individuals willing to display them prominently. The stickers may be picked up in the front office of The Dispatch at 516 Main Street in Columbus.

The Dispatch Editorial Board is made up of publisher Peter Imes, columnist Slim Smith, managing editor Zack Plair and senior newsroom staff.