More stories from the film set.

During my two seasons with Burt Reynolds, last minute emergencies happened on a regular basis, and I found out early on why. Shooting scenes of a TV show involved hundreds of very highly paid people coordinating together minute by minute.

I was told that when all these people are gathered in one place, the cost to have them standing around doing nothing was at that time $129,000 PER HOUR. (In 1980’s dollars)

Too many delays could break even a large budget.

The message was: DON’T LET THAT HAPPEN. EVER.

On one such occasion I drove 14 miles up I-95 about a 100 mph through rush hour traffic to do a last minute fix. In West Palm Beach. Someone had written a work order to put lettering on a fake “nursing home van” and gave us a name that was not cleared to use by the legal office at ABC Entertainment. Not allowed.

Almost all names used on a TV show or movie are fake and made up for legal reasons. The art director would fax a list of possible fake names to the ABC TV legal department. They would check that there were no real businesses with those names and then send back approval. If an unapproved word showed up on screen…somebody was getting fired. I was all too prone to being fired most of my life, so I wanted to avoid that if possible.

As I was being led to the van by a prop assistant, we passed Burt’s mobile dressing room and he shouted something unhappily through the closed door at Gary, one of the prop assistants.

Without stopping, Gary yelled out: “It’s okay Burt. Thom just got here to fix it!”

Then “Okay…get him over to the van quick!”

It’s a very bizarre, surrealistic and humbling to hear a famous person call you out in conversation.

I didn’t have much with me but my kit, an Exacto knife and some various colors of adhesive sign making vinyl. No computer, no paints and brushes. Had to remove the offending parts, lay down some vinyl and hand cut the lettering. Quickly.

When I got there, 200 or so crew, actors and onlookers stood there to watch me alter the lettering…fast as I could! Including the Boss himself, who had left his cushy RV so he could stand there and stare at me too.

It went pretty fast…about $50,000 worth of fast. And a good year off my life.

My acting career lasted one day

They had rented a real biker strip club called the Mermaid Bar. It was a bar fight scene. As a lark, our immediate boss, art director Carol Wood talked me and my two brothers into becoming extras in an episode called “Blues for Buder.” We figured that would be cool to take a break for a day and do something fun.

Yes, and they told me it would be fun. We were naive.

First we found out that the pay for the whole day (a 12 hour day!) was the amount we were normally paid for one hour…per man. Almost worse than being a musician.

And our social status dropped lower than a certain crackhead son’s credit score. We were moved to a nondescript building next to the set, crammed in along with about 20 or so other po’ peasants (called extras).

We sat down for the extras “orientation.” A friend of mine was conducting it and every now and then she would smirk at me. I found out why.

On any production that has money, top notch meals are provided to the crew and the actors by catering companies. Because working hours can be as high as 14 hours per day we got breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I remember one of the catering trucks had three types of grade A steaks available, grilled to your taste while you wait. For lunch. And every other food known to man. Like a wedding banquet. Three times a day.

Us “extra” peasants got a brown paper bag. Sandwich. Banana. Can of soda.

“You are just a human prop, like a piece of furniture. Do not deviate from what you’ve been told. You may be bent and twisted around like a department store mannequin. Do not speak to the crew or actors. Use the bathroom now or just hold it in. “ On and on.

“When the camera comes on, start whatever movement you’ve been told. When you hear ‘cut’ stop but be still. When it begins again, resume exactly what you were doing or holding.” This could happen 20-30 times by the end of the day.

I made the big mistake on the first take. I picked up a (fake) beer with one hand and smoked a cigarette with the other (back then everyone smoked).

Over and over and over…the whole day. I had to smoke almost non stop, and lift the beer like making a toast. By the end of the day my shoulder was unusable, and I could barely breathe.

Sitting near me was Jim Reynolds, Burt’s adopted brother. A somewhat sketchy guy. This wasn’t his first rodeo. He situated himself with his arm around one of the almost naked “exotic dancers.” His experience was a lot different than mine.

It was a tough work day. But I did get to see 53-year-old Burt thrown across the bar in multiple takes. He often did his own stunts and had been injured several times.

When the day was done, I had given up any idea of acting (not that I ever really wanted to). Back to slinging paint and eating steak for lunch.

Thom Caraccio ([email protected]) is a retired musician and retired motion picture scenic artist living in West Palm Beach, Florida who hails from Columbus. He graduated from S.D. Lee High in 1968 and still considers Columbus his real hometown.