“If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” – Anonymous
Growing up, I had a number of dogs. They usually lived and slept in a doghouse in the back yard rain or shine, ate whatever leftovers we had for dinner and only had names because we kids named them.
My dad thought that a vet was someone who had been in the armed services. Period. He also believed dogs got a bath when it rained. He wasn’t a big “dog person.”
When Denise and I were first married, neither of us had hit 20 years old yet, and we lived a short while with my parents. Somehow, she acquired a puppy, and of course had it living in the house peeing and pooping ‘til it got trained. I know it must have bugged dad, but only she could get away with pretty much anything with him. So he quietly pretended it wasn’t happening.
Things have changed a lot in modern times, not just for us but for dogs’ situations in general. Our 20 pound little tyrant lives a pampered life that would make the royal dogs in Buckingham Palace look like abused homeless pups.
Her toy box looks like one of those toy drives the Marines do every Christmas. When dumped out it covers the entire living room floor.
When it’s time for a treat, the bags must be lined up for her to pick her choice of the moment. And she takes her time.
Does she eat the $5-a-bag dog food? Hail no.
Her $25 small bag of Science Diet is mixed with freshly cooked chicken (her favorite) or hamburger, or chopped fresh liver.
Bella sleeps in the Big Bed, not one of the several dog beds available. Those are just for napping.
And that’s the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Or furberg.
But it’s not just at our house. Oh no, not hardly. Turns out we’re modest compared to some dog owners.
To give our dogs a life of luxury takes an awful amount of work… and dollars.
It starts sneaking up on you the first time they come through the door.
A treat here, a toy there, a dog bed. And then a better dog bed. Then on and on. One morning you wake up wearing a 20 pound fur hat wrapped around your head. Happened to me.
I saw a comment on a post about dogs the other day: “I can never understand how they’re okay with spending so much money on a mutt instead of a vacation or something that actually benefits them.”
Bella, sitting next to me, angrily pointed a paw at the screen.
The comment writer’s screen name? “hellokittystrawberry.” Explains it all.
Last year, Americans spent $150.6 BILLION on dog related stuff.
Food, toys, furniture, treats, vet bills, birthday parties, etc.
I’m not going to spout the usual “That’s billion with a B.” You know how it’s spelled.
Of that amount, $700 million (million with an M) is for… dog and pet costumes. Let that sink in.
I’m beginning to feel pretty moderate as I read my own words. Maybe I’m not a maniac after all.
And Bella is kicked back with a smug look on her face.
Thom Caraccio ([email protected]) is a retired musician and retired motion picture scenic artist living in West Palm Beach, Florida who hails from Columbus. He graduated from S.D. Lee High in 1968 and still considers Columbus his real hometown.
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