“Oh, George! Not the livestock!”

– Delmar, in “O Brother, Where Art Thou”

Over the past few years I’ve become something of a true crime addict. As I flip through the TV channels in a vain attempt to find something to watch, the true crime channels are my default programming.

I’ve learned a lot about how law enforcement investigates crime – mostly murder – from watching these shows.

As detectives begin to identify prospective suspects, one of the things they focus on to narrow the field is identifying the motive. Most murders are committed by someone the victim knows, which means the murder wasn’t some mindless act. There has to be a reason. If the detective can link motive and suspect, he’s well on his way to making a case that can be proven in court.

I thought of this aspect of crime investigation from a Dispatch news story in Tuesday’s edition. According to the story, a Columbus man was arrested Friday afternoon after allegedly breaking into a pasture in Clay County and striking two cows with his car. This was more serious than moo-licious mischief. When Clay County deputies arrived on the scene, they discovered a car on fire near one dead cow and another injured cow. They found the suspect, Trampus Freize, nearby.

I know what you’re thinking, of course. Cool name. Sounds like a villain in a Batman movie.

You may also be wondering, well, what the heck?

I imagine the suspect’s one call from jail and the voice on the other end of the line saying, “You got arrested for what?”

Based on the expertise I’ve gained from watching hours of True Crime TV programming, it appears the sheriff’s department has a pretty solid case, what with the victim, weapon and suspect all being in close proximity.

But what was the motive?

Sheriff’s deputies don’t believe their suspect knows the owner of the cows (or the cows themselves, for that matter).

Cows are mellow, unassuming animals, mostly content in minding their own business. You will rarely encounter an outspoken cow or a cow involved in some elaborate scheme.

So it’s odd that anyone would go out of their way – and leaving the road, crashing through a fence and running down cows in a pasture is definitely going out of the way – to run down cows.

It’s fair to say the sheriff’s office has not found the motive they can embrace, so Frieze is being charged with two felony counts of “malicious or mischievous injury to livestock” along with a misdemeanor trespassing charge. In this case, Mississippi code doesn’t make much of a distinction between malice and mischief where cow assaults are concerned.

In some of the true crime shows I’ve watched, detectives can’t find a plausible motive. In these cases, they are quick to note that motive is not required in getting a guilty verdict.

But I still want to know the motive in this case.

In “O Brother, Where Art Thou,” the main characters have unwittingly hitched a ride with notorious gangster George “Pretty Boy” Floyd. When police begin to pursue Floyd, he pulls out a tommy gun and starts shooting at the cops, until he is briefly distracted by the sight of cows in a pasture.

“Cows! I hate cows more than coppers!” he shouts before beginning to fire into the unsuspecting cattle.

Maybe this real life incident was like the one in the fictional movie, some irrational hatred of cows..

Or, perhaps, it could have been accidental, a case of cow tipping gone too far. Maybe more facts will come out that make sense of the incident.

All I know is that if I came across this story on a true crime channel, I’d definitely tune in.

Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].

Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].

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