There are benefits to living near a firehouse. I hope the firemen there feel the same way. We’re a block away and always good for a laugh.
Years ago, there was the swarm of bees in the top of the river birch. A year or two later, there was the doghouse fire. This past week, it was the possum.
We thought we had armadillos burrowing around the foundation of the house. That was until Val started barking around 2 o’clock, Tuesday a.m. She wasn’t stopping, so I got up and went outside. She’d found a possum.
The creature was curled up in a fetal position in the middle of the yard, playing possum. You’ve heard that expression “grinning like a possum eating persimmons” … or is it “sweet potatoes”? This fellow was grinning, big grin. Call him Big Possum.
I told Val what a good job she had done and took her inside. The possum was gone by sun-up.
Later in the week, Beth sent me an all-caps text: “CALL ME!” A possum had somehow gotten hung up in the latticework around the foundation of the house.
I couldn’t get free immediately, and she seemed distressed, so I called Eddie Johnson, who helps us around the house.
I’m not sure how this happened — news travels fast on Southside — but word made it to the street and three firemen, who were exercising — one of them a friend — looked in to see if they could help.
Eddie and the firemen arrived at the same time.
Beth, who had begun trying to free the possum had gone inside for a screwdriver. She walked back out, saw the humanity gathered there and said, “Who called the cavalry?”
The firemen offered to pry apart the latticework. Eddie, taking a less humane approach, said he had a hammer in his car. “I’m an old country boy,” he explained later.
Eddie’s offer was quickly rebuffed. The firemen freed the possum, put it into a Hav-A-Hart trap and closed it.
Eddie offered to take the possum to the river.
Beth thought across the river a better idea.
Off went Eddie and the possum. The firemen resumed their walk.
I only saw cellphone pictures; the possum ensnared in the latticework was not Big Possum.
Early Thursday morning, Val was barking again. It was Big Possum. He was curled up in the same spot wearing the same grin he had two nights earlier. This time I put a large plastic trashcan over him and a log on top to hold it down. Val got to sleep in the house again, though it took her a while to settle down.
I called Eddie to see exactly where he released the first possum and took Big Possum there hoping the two would find each other. Later, Eddie and I compared notes about the episode and possums in general. Here is a snippet of that conversation:
Me: Will possums bite you?
Eddie: I never heard that. This is what Mr. Sonny Man (John Kidd) told me about possums: He told me you put a dog and a coon in a pen, the coon will kill the dog. If you put a dog and a possum in a pen, the dog will kill the possum. If you put a possum and a coon in a pen, the possum will kill the coon by wrapping that tail around the coon’s neck and choking it to death.”
Me: I’ve never heard anything like that. If they won’t bite you, why haven’t you ever held one?
Eddie: I’m a country boy. I didn’t say I was stupid.
Birney Imes is the publisher of The Dispatch. Email him at [email protected].
Birney Imes III is the immediate past publisher of The Dispatch.
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