The American Psychiatric Association (APA) finds that in 2024, 30% of adults say they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week, while 10% say they are lonely every day. Is loneliness steadily increasing? Yes, indeed.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that people are always alone at home. They must go to work every day except weekends. They may also spend time with friends. However, living alone without family has increased many times in the United States compared to the past. There is no such example of living alone in Bangladesh. At least there are people around.
However, loneliness can be temporary or chronic. For example, my wife and younger daughter went on a trip to India and Bangladesh for about two and a half months. I was completely alone but only temporarily. I had a great experience.
Basically, I am a party person. Several years ago, I built a party house in the backyard with a tin roof for parties. That house is no longer very enjoyable. So recently, I built a party house in half of the space where we park our car in front of the house. That day, I invited the editor of The Dispatch newspaper and his friend, and I cooked for them. But you can’t party every day anymore. I used to go to the university to take classes five days a week. Saturday and Sunday, you can go to Walmart or Kroger to shop. Apart from that, I watch sports programs or movies on television. But I spend a lot of time alone.
I am now talking about real loneliness. You are at a party or with your family or in a meeting and suddenly you feel lonely. Some might say you have gone crazy. Is this your mental illness? You feel lonely in a crowd. And you often want to be alone.
According to experts, this kind of loneliness can increase your mental and physical problems. You can also lose your life due to heart disease, dementia, stroke, etc. Therefore, going to a psychiatrist is necessary. I have psychiatrists around me. My eldest daughter is a psychiatrist. And a close psychiatrist friend of mine lives 25 miles away. I often call him to chat.
Sometimes, though, I live alone but with a positive attitude. In that loneliness, my parents appear. My six older brothers and sisters also.
My parents are not supposed to be alive at my age. Not even my siblings. Still, the memories come and go. Those beautiful moments or that friend who held my soft hand while playing hide and seek in the forest. In short, loneliness should be cherished.
The Surgeon General of the United States, Dr. Vivek Murthy, once said loneliness is when your life needs more connections than your current connections. According to Dr. Jeremy Noble, author, director of “Project Unlonely” and a Harvard teacher, there are three types of loneliness. Psychological, social and existential. And there are psychologists, counselors and psychiatrists for these situations too.
During the COVID period, the problem of loneliness has increased, and according to the World Health Organization, loneliness is a worldwide problem.
People naturally crave the feeling of solitude from time to time. That is why many famous people sometimes forcefully choose solitude. That way they can be more creative. Tagore, it can be said, spent his entire life mostly in solitude. He even suffered from depression several times. But maybe he was able to be so creative because of loneliness. That is why he wrote in 1905, “If no one comes to your call, go alone.”
The Oscar winner, Indian musician AR Rahman also wanted to say, “Your inner voice is the voice of divinity. To hear it, we have to be in solitude, even in crowded places.”
Elon Musk’s Tesla car has been on the road for several years. The name of this car has been taken from the scientist, inventor Mr. Nikola Tesla. Tesla said, “In solitude and uninterrupted solitude the mind becomes sharp and keen. No large laboratory is needed to think.”
This scientist has discovered electrical transformers, turbines, alternating current, induction motors, neon lamps, hydroelectricity and many more. Einstein’s words are similar: “It is surprising to think that, despite being so universally known, you can still be so alone.”
Do celebrities ever feel lonely? Yes. They get lonely in a crowd of people, especially those involved in the film and music industries. However, their problems are a little different. Loneliness begins when friendships are broken. Take Madonna’s case. She said: “There was a lot of my life where I was very lonely, and I felt that I had no friends in the world.” Lady Gaga’s situation is different: “I’m lonely forever. When I’m in a relationship, I’m lonely. That’s my situation as an artist.”
“Pirates of the Caribbean” actor Johnny Depp’s divorce led to loneliness and depression.
Finally, I remember one of our cultural spiritual songs, “I came alone, I will go alone.”
So why worry so much?
Jiben Roy, a native of Bangladesh, is a retired chemistry and pharmaceutical sciences professor at Mississippi University for Women. He writes occasional columns in The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
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