Beginning this week, millions of American children will be headed back to school to resume their studies of the Three Rs (readin’, ‘ritin’ and ‘rithmetic).
In Florida, it’s actually the 4 Rs, thanks to new standards for African American studies approved by the state’s board of education. Under the leadership of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, Florida’s kids now will be “educated” (i.e. taught the proper Aryan perspective of history), not “indoctrinated” (views that ain’t white and, therefore, ain’t right).
One example of the new approach to Black history found in Florida’s revised standards is that in many cases slaves benefited from slavery because “ it enabled them to learn useful skills.”
As for Jim Crow, the new standards candidly admit that during this period “acts of violence were perpetrated on and by African-Americans.” This is an important new teaching because it is not widely known that back then Black people were prone to lynch themselves (I suppose in those cases when their white neighbors just weren’t in the mood).
“This is something that is going to set the norm for standards in other states” predicted Florida’s education commissioner, Manny Diaz.
If that prediction is true, Mississippi will jump on faster than Tate Reeves stopping a trans girl from playing hopscotch.
Yes, Mississippi children will soon be learning the wholesome and happy side of slavery and Jim Crow under whiter and brighter standards.
For example, not only did enslaved slaves learn useful skills (running and hiding no doubt being at the top of the list), they were never cooped up in some stuffy, poorly lit office. No, Black folks worked outdoors in the fresh air and sunshine where they leisurely tended crops, an experience so pleasant that they often broke out into impromptu song, as the documentary film, “Gone With The Wind” so accurately depicts.
But the life of a slave was not all work and no play. There was leisure time and, yes, even romance.
Quite often, young slave girls had “dates” with the wealthy white men who lived on the property. Most of those dates were spontaneous encounters where the rigid formalities of courtship were discarded in the interest of passion. A Cinderella story, for sure.
Some of these whirlwind romances, though short-lived, resulted in “bundles of joy,” which proves once and for all that plantation owners and their male heirs were not racists on account of having Black children. (A lot of people on plantations were justifiably worried about rape, but none of them were white, as it turned out).
But if you think slave women had it good, consider the joys of being a slave child.
While white kids had to spend tedious hours under the oppressive thumb of school teachers, learning all kinds of boring stuff you never use when you are grown — algebra, science, civics, history — Black children were under no such constraints. Every day was a carefree day for Black kids. They never learned to read, which would have made them excellent Republicans today, but was not an advantage at all in that era.
Slave children benefited in other ways their white counterparts could scarcely imagine. Many slave children were provided the opportunity to escape the meddlesome control of their parents to live exciting new lives hundreds of miles away, thus learning important life skills such as “self-sufficiency” and “coping mechanisms,” concepts white children were not exposed to until adulthood.
While it is true that slave men and women sometimes had to be subject to corporal punishment which tore their flesh, it improved their character and pain tolerance.
Sadly, the happy-go-lucky life of the slave ended at the meddling hand of the Yankees in 1865.
Fortunately, kindly Southern whites managed to regain control in the 1880s and ushered in a new, exciting era called “Jim Crow.”
As with slavery, Black people once again benefited enormously. Jim Crow was a time when Black people were singled out for special treatment. They got their own water fountains, for example, and always had reserved seating in movie theaters. Heck, “curbside pick-up” at restaurants was invented specifically for Black diners.
It’s all an absurdity, this redefining history to avoid unpleasant truths. It insult our intelligence and insults Black children who have to swallow this bile in a public school supported by tax dollars.
There was a time when I worried how history would judge us.
Now, I’m beginning to worry about who will judge history.
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
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