I have always taken a measure of pride in being aware of what’s going on, whether it be on the local, state, national or, to a lesser degree, international level. I believe it is the duty of every citizen to be as well-informed as possible.
But my confidence in that is slipping. Earlier this week, we published a story about a local fundraiser for Contact Helpline in observation of National Suicide Awareness Month, which is observed each September. It got me wondering if there are other things I should be aware of this month, which is quickly slipping away.
So I Googled “September designations” to find out.
Man, do I have a lot of awareness to catch up on. There are 44 separate categories that designate the month of September to raise awareness about. So much to do, so little time.
I have no idea how these groups get designations, but the sheer volume suggests it isn’t that difficult. I imagine some Oprah of Monthly Designations shouting out, “You get September! And you get September! Everybody gets September!”
I don’t mean to minimize the importance of some of these designations. As it is with Suicide Awareness Month, the designations support worthy causes. So I hope you all will take note that this month, or what’s left of it, is also Gynecological Cancer Awareness Month, National Blood Cancer Awareness Month, National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month, National Neonatal Intensive Care Awareness Month and National Sickle Cell Anemia Month, among others.
I sincerely hope that September brings the attention to these causes they deserve.
But there are an awful lot of September designations that I find suspect.
I’m not really sure it is my duty as a member of society to spend a lot of time being “aware” that September is Fall Hat Month, for example, even though no one is less aware of fall hats than me.
Likewise, I find that “International Update Your Resume” is of no value to me (unless you know something I don’t).
There are also a lot of these designations for which I already have a healthy awareness and appreciation, including National Honey Month, National Chicken Month (I wonder if National Egg month is August or October, which would settle an ancient debate), National Italian Cheese Month, National Potato Month, National Rice Month, Whole Grains Month and Sourdough September.
September is also Blueberry Popsicle Month, which arouses my suspicions because it seems oddly specific.
I can’t remember the last time I had a popsicle of any flavor, so a month to remind me of that isn’t bad. I like popsicles, so a reminder might lead me to treat myself.
Ok, then. So why isn’t it just “Popsicle Month?”
What is it about blueberry popsicles that warrant special consideration?
I’m not big on conspiracy theories, but in this case I wonder if there isn’t some big blueberry popsicle lobby, funded by the Koch Brothers or, perhaps, George Soros that is pulling the strings here.
I cannot be sure. So if I do treat myself to a popsicle, I’m going to avoid blueberry popsicles on the grounds that I don’t want to be manipulated into being a blueberry popsicle sheepie.
Then there are other September designations that I can’t imagine require my awareness, like National Piano Month, National Square Dance Month or National Sewing Month. I simply have nothing to contribute to these causes.
In addition to monthly designations, there are also National “Weeks” and “Days.” Quite frankly, I think some of these National Months should be downgraded to a week or a day (and for some, that’s being generous). Let’s be realistic here.
September is National Courtesy Month. God knows we all could benefit from being more aware of that, right?
But a whole month of being courteous? I could be courteous for a day, I’m sure. Maybe even a week if everything fell just right.
But a whole month? That would damn near kill me, I think.
Courtesy is simply asking too much here.
Besides, I’ve got all these other things to be aware of, and I shudder to think what will be asked of me in October.
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
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