Mayor Keith Gaskin announced during his Wednesday press conference that he will be burying a time capsule at city hall on New Year’s Eve.
I don’t think the mayor intended to suggest he was personally going to bury the time capsule although I’d make it a point to turn out were that the case.
Burying stuff is not as easy a task as you might think. The last time I buried something was about 20 years ago when the task of laying my daughter’s hamster to rest fell to me. This was when we lived in Arizona — hot, arid, rainless Arizona. Every time the shovel hit the ground, sparks flew from metal striking rock. It took more than an hour to dig a hole sufficiently deep to bury a hamster, which is not very deep at all.
So, no, I don’t believe the mayor will be out there, shirt-sleeves rolled up, sweating and swearing as he digs a hole sufficient to accommodate a time capsule.
I’m still in favor of the time capsule idea, though, if for no other reason than it provides a chance to get it right this time.
In October, the city retrieved the time capsule buried at Leigh Mall on Aug. 22, 1972. That event turned out to be a dud, probably because the whole planning of the time capsule was hurried, haphazard and void of imagination. At the last minute, Sears officials, who planned the time capsule as part of the grand-opening ceremonies of their Leigh Mall store, invited the public to add items to the time capsule. I suspect most of those people contributed whatever they happened to have in their pocket or purse. In addition to the random pocket lint and gee-gaws carelessly tossed into the capsule, there were high school and MUW year books, a copy of the day’s Dispatch and a spring/summer edition of the Sears catalog.
There were also a lot of photos.
I had hoped that the store owners at Leigh Mall would have contributed an item or two from their shops. It would have been fun to see the fashions of their day. Alas, the miserly managers/owners of the shops in Leigh Mall showed no enthusiasm for burying inventory, so when the time capsule was retrieved the contents were about as interesting as Geraldo Rivera opening “Al Capone’s vault.” The only thing we learned was just how mind-numbingly boring the people of Columbus must have been in August, 1972.
This time, though, it appears there has been some thought given to the project. The mayor has given the public ample time to consider time capsule offerings. The mayor suggested photos, single-page documents, CDs of data, USB drives of data.
“We’re also asking for other physical items that might give citizens in 50 years an idea what it looked like to be in Columbus in 2021,” the mayor said.
County school board attorney Jeff Smith might be persuaded to contribute his face mask, which I’m sure he won’t find to be too great a sacrifice.
My first thought was to put Leslie Sorrell and her husband, Will Sanders, in the time capsule mainly because it would be great fun to see them pop out 50 years hence, rattling their chains Jacob Marley-like, still demanding an audit.
Leslie and Will are not particularly large people, but even so, I was saddened to learn they do not meet the size restrictions for the time capsule (9-by-12-by-2 inches). But, hey, if you have a recently-deceased hamster, here’s your chance.
Rodents aside, the specifications mean the contents of the time capsule are likely to again be dominated by photos.
If that’s your plan, please, please don’t be like my mother. When my mom passed, I went through boxes and boxes of old photos she had collected. She rarely thought to include the names of the people or any context on the back of the photos. So photo after photo were of people I didn’t know doing God only knows what.
Remember, the population will have mostly rolled over by 2072. A lot of us will be dead. Only the famous or infamous are likely to be recognized on sight alone.
So, please, provide names and necessary context of the photo. Example: “Lee Roy Lollar. He complained a lot. God Bless America.”
Also, remember that there’s nothing as boring as looking at a photo of someone you don’t know staring blankly into the camera lens. So choose interesting photos.
I suggest nudes.
This time, let’s give ‘em something to talk about.
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
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