“Don’t tell your mom.”
Growing up, there was exactly one reason my dad would say those words to me: we were about to eat something unhealthy.
Usually, this phrase was reserved for the rare occasion that my mother had gone out of town, or he and I had an afternoon together just the two of us.
The phrase was a sacred pact between the two of us. And once we had entered into that binding agreement, it was a bond that couldn’t be broken, lest I never eat the same artery clogging fast food again. At least, that’s how my eight-year-old brain interpreted it.
There was one fast food restaurant chain in particular that was the biggest “don’t tell your mom” establishment. And while I still feel the need to protect my father in our pact, I’ll say that it chiefly serves greasy, square cheeseburger sliders and chicken sandwiches.
It’s the kind of food that makes you feel bad while you’re eating it, but man, isn’t it delicious?
Now, my dad is also one of the best cooks I know. That man can whip up an omelet, perfectly sear salmon, spatchcock chickens and make the most delicious, perfect plate of pasta I’ve ever seen. Sometimes, food is about sophistication and a perfectly balanced palette.
But sometimes, it’s about all the dopamine receptors in your brain firing at once, and the joy of eating small burgers and fries. That’s part of the point of eating.
Earlier this week, I was rushing through almost every meal, trying to throw things together at the end of every work day instead of enjoying eating. But I found this simple Meatball Sliders recipe on TikTok that reminded me that I can do both.
So, yes, this is a very unsophisticated recipe from me. It reminds me of something I would make in college, back before a well-rounded diet was on my radar. But it also tasted SO good that I couldn’t imagine not sharing it. My husband and I both loved them.
Now, I can imagine how they could be made even better. You can make your own marinara sauce to go in the sliders, for example, if you have time to spare on that. Or, you could make your own homemade meatballs to be able to control the seasoning proportions better.
Or, if you’re really committed, you could go out, milk a cow, use that milk to make your own mozzarella, pick wheat out of your wheat fields, grind up your own flour, mix and bake homemade rolls, and have every part of this meal from scratch.
But I am not committed to the homemade creation of meatball sliders. I am committed to eating tasty food and feeding my husband, and sharing recipes that I think everyone can enjoy.
And man, this was delicious in its own pre-processed ingredients kind of way, just like those “don’t tell your mom” sliders I ate with my dad years ago.
But come to think of it, my mom told me years later, when I was a teenager, that she didn’t ever like the fast food chain that my dad and I went to as our special secret. So maybe, he was really sparing her some indigestion all along.
Either way, I guess she knows now.
MEATBALL SLIDERS
Ingredients
1 package King’s Hawaiian Savory Butter Rolls
12 prepackaged Italian-style meatballs (you can make your own if you want, but don’t judge me)
1 jar marinara sauce (whichever kind is your favorite)
6 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 tablespoon lemon juice
1 clove minced garlic
Salt and pepper to taste
Directions
■ Bake Italian meatballs according to package directions, or whatever recipe you choose. Then, set oven to heat to 350 degrees.
■ Grease a 9-by-11-inch casserole dish with butter or nonstick cooking spray. Remove King’s Hawaiian Savory Butter Rolls from package and place into greased dish.
■ Cut through the top of the rolls to remove a circle of bread from the center of each. Put butter in microwave safe bowl, and microwave until fully melted. Once melted, add lemon juice, garlic and salt and pepper to butter.
■ Brush garlic butter mixture over the tops and inside of each roll. Then, add a spoonful of marinara sauce and some mozzarella cheese to the inside of each roll. Next, take your cooked meatballs and add them to a bowl with additional sauce inside. Coat the meatballs in the sauce before adding one coated meatball to each roll. Finally, top all the rolls with additional mozzarella cheese.
■ Bake sliders for about 7-10 minutes, or until cheese is melted and bubbly. Serve.
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You can help your community
Quality, in-depth journalism is essential to a healthy community. The Dispatch brings you the most complete reporting and insightful commentary in the Golden Triangle, but we need your help to continue our efforts. In the past week, our reporters have posted 38 articles to cdispatch.com. Please consider subscribing to our website for only $2.30 per week to help support local journalism and our community.
