“Since when is life about happiness? It should be about impact.”
That line from Daniel Ek, founder of Spotify, hit me square between the eyes when I heard it on a podcast recently. Happiness is what most of us chase. I did. We spend a lifetime trying to define it—through success, money, family, travel, security, or peace of mind. But Ek’s point kept turning over in my head: maybe the better target isn’t happiness at all. Could it be impact?
Looking back, the first 20 years of my life weren’t about either. They were about fun—or at least what I thought was fun. That path didn’t end well. At 21, I entered recovery for alcohol and drug addiction. Sobriety gave me a chance, but it didn’t instantly give me purpose. For the next couple of decades, I chased financial success—spending more than I had, mistaking consumption for contribution. Growing up in a family with little money but surrounded by people who had plenty, I was fueled for selfish consumerism.
If I’m honest, my 20s and 30s were self-centered years. From 40 to 50, things shifted. Kids were born. I prioritized family at the expense of my businesses. No regrets there. Raising kids isn’t a footnote—it’s the work. At 50, my wife and I took our 10-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter on a six-month trip across Europe. That experience changed us all, deepening my spiritual foundation. Still, I was either decent at family or decent at business—never both at the same time.
By the time my kids finished college a few years ago, something shifted again. My daily responsibilities eased, and I went through a professional renaissance. I found myself more passionate about restaurants, travel, and writing than ever. I’ve been in the restaurant business since I was 19, but never gave it the energy, focus, and heart I do today.
Somewhere between being a young dad and watching my kids leave the nest, impact entered the conversation—not as a goal I chased, but almost by accident. Extra Table, the nonprofit I founded, started with one phone call. What came from that has grown far beyond me—sending hundreds of thousands of pounds of food to more than 60 agencies across Mississippi each month at no cost. I can’t claim credit.
That was a God thing. I was just the vessel. But it opened my eyes: giving is better than receiving. For the first 45 years of my life, I focused on receiving. Since then, I’ve learned the joy in giving.
Impact can be addictive. With Extra Table running strong, I co-founded The Hattiesburg Hundred to support law enforcement families in crisis. Later, I helped launch the Midtown Merchants Association to work on murals, parks, and neighborhood projects, including a dog park. With my friend Anthony Thaxton, I co-founded the Institute for Southern Storytelling at Mississippi College to share Mississippi’s story with the wider world. None of these happened because of me alone—they took groups willing to pitch in.
None of it was mapped out in advance. It unfolded because I stepped outside myself. But I won’t lie—I’ve had selfish motives, too. Respect matters to me. I want my wife and kids to see my life as more than restaurants, travel, books, and columns. I want them to see impact.
It’s only lately that I’ve recognized that word for what it is. Impact isn’t something I set out to chase. I didn’t even have a name for it until now. But looking back, that’s what my work has really been about—doing what I can to make life a little better for those around me.
Richard Branson once said, “Every business, at its heart, is simply trying to make people’s lives better.” A restaurant isn’t just food. A trip isn’t just sightseeing. At our best, what we do is create moments that make life better for other people. That’s impact, too.
For most of my life, I took the easy road instead of the better road. Society probably labeled me a “success” even when I wasn’t one. I was never a good student, but I’ve become a decent producer. I’ve learned it’s not about consuming. It’s about producing.
These days, I spend close to four months a year working overseas. When I’m home, I focus on a few essentials: faith, family and friends, food, exercise, sleep, career, and fun. Happiness or impact? For me, impact comes first, and happiness follows. Happiness rooted in self-seeking is shallow. Happiness that grows from making a difference sticks.
If there’s anything I hope my kids take from my life, it’s this: don’t chase happiness. Chase impact. Try to make life a little better for the people around you. Happiness will follow, as a byproduct of something bigger than yourself.
Looking back, the things that matter most aren’t what I gained for myself, but the moments I made a small impact in someone else’s life. Better late than never, I’ve learned that happiness follows impact.
Onward.
Robert St. John is a restaurateur, author, enthusiastic traveler, and world-class eater from Hattiesburg, Mississippi. He has spent four decades in the restaurant industry, written 13 books, and written a syndicated newspaper column for more than 24 years. Read more about Robert at robertstjohn.com.
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