A house of worship is typically a place of respite. For parents of children with special needs, however, a Sunday at church is often another day of work and worry. That is why a church in Starkville has developed what it calls Inclusion Sundays. It’s an innovative approach.

Several years ago, two families with children who have special needs became part of the Trinity Presbyterian Church family. Church can be particularly difficult for families worried about a congregation accepting the different behavior of their children, said Alison Buehler, Trinity’s Family Outreach coordinator.

“We immediately began to retool in order to meet these families’ needs and invited a special education teacher from Starkville Public Schools to train our Education Committee and teachers,” said Buehler, a former special education teacher herself.

Specifically, the church wanted to accomplish two primary goals: provide appropriate worship and educational experiences for all children, and give parents of children with special needs a much-needed break on Sunday mornings to refuel themselves.

Shadows

To help reach those objectives, Buehler partnered with Mississippi State University’s Phi Mu sorority to recruit “shadows” who are paired with children throughout the Sunday morning programming. The church also hired Rosie Oppedal — “Ms. Rosie” — to coordinate Children’s Church and Fellowship Time.

On a typical Sunday, Oppedal and the shadows help all kids participate in activities, providing flexible options when necessary for those with special needs. Sometimes it may be as simple as taking a walk until a child is ready to rejoin the group.

“These children are precious,” said Oppedal. “Each one of them is a gift from God, and we just love that they are able to be here.”

A “respite room” was opened to give children a place to cool off if they needed a break. Church member Suzy Lowry took on the task of finding books on better understanding people with special needs for the entire congregation to read.

“This is really about reeducating our congregation, more than making any significant changes to our programming,” Buehler said. “Understanding that some of our children will be loud during the service, or that their behavior is created by their disability is an important component for the success of this program.”

Parent perspective

For moms like Heather Wainwright and Brenda Kirkland, whose children deal with autism issues, Sundays are less stressful now.

Wainwright’s son, 11-year-old Nate, sometimes has a hard time remaining still and quiet in traditional worship settings.

“A lot of times I would have to leave with him because he didn’t want to participate in something,” said Wainwright. Since Inclusion Sundays began, however, she hears Nate actively asking to go to church more often. He thrives on one-on-one interaction, she added, “so I think he feels like he’s always got someone he can talk to, play with and do everything from Bible stories to devotionals to playing outside.”

With the support of the shadows, Wainwright can now teach her older son’s Sunday School class and take part in the worship service knowing Nate is well looked after. It gives her an opportunity to calm and center herself, providing a brief respite from the “hands-on 24/7” the rest of the week demands.

“I know he’s not going to wander away into the woods behind the church, that he’s being included and getting interaction with other children,” she said. There’s an exit strategy if a child is not up to an activity, without having to stop the activity for everybody else. “And if there’s an issue, they’ll come and get me.”

Brenda Kirkland also appreciates the church congregation’s attitude of acceptance and caring toward her daughter, Billiejean.

“Autism can be really challenging,” said the mother of three. “Billiejean likes them all,” Kirkland said about the shadows. “She’s a girl, and she’s 13, so it’s really nice for her to have these young women who are paying attention to her. She clearly likes that.”

Like Wainwright, the inclusion programming allows Kirkland to participate more in services and even teach classes, with the peace of knowing Billiejean is safe and watched over.

“It’s a place where my daughter is wanted, and she gets to interact with other people: You can’t put a price on that.”

Buehler, Oppedal and all involved are committed to creating a Sunday format that provides Christian eduction and fellowship for children with special needs as well as for their families, the mothers agreed. The initiative could be a model for other churches interested in developing similar resources.

“They’ve worked really hard to get this together; they’ve really stepped up,” said Wainwright. “Both Nate and Billiejean have benefited from it — and there is certainly room for more.”

Jan Swoope is the Lifestyles Editor for The Commercial Dispatch.