I’ve been trying lately to immerse myself in every moment. I have a love affair with every nuance and facet of our being, but often I forget what I love and why I love it. Life crashes in waves that can drag us out to sea. We float along while fighting for survival, and with every labored breath, we forget what we’re fighting for. All things, large and small, make up what really matters to each of us. When we pause, even for a second, we can summon all that we love.
I love coffee – especially chock-full-o-nuts. My mother and I agree to disagree on that iconic New York roast, which only makes me love it more. She and I love to discuss and debate so many things. We see eye to eye on many topics, yet each one is lined with a touch of gray.
When I drink my coffee, I prefer it black. As I sip, I think of the many people who share my love for such a simple pleasure and how peaceful that thought makes me feel. I picture my grandfather pouring me a small cup when I was five, with lots of sugar and creamer – it tasted like candy, and I loved it. I see my stepfather with a Styrofoam cup every winter afternoon, holding steaming gas station coffee – always his favorite, though I’ll never understand why. My mother’s taste is a touch more refined, and my wife drinks hers slowly, subtly sweet.
I deeply love music and how it makes me feel. I love sharing it even more with the ones I love. Playing a song for someone is sharing a piece of ourselves. When they share a song in return and we choose to listen rather than simply hear, the moment becomes music – and that music becomes love.
I love picking my son up from high school soccer practice. He’s always tired, hungry, and full of conversation. We listen to music and talk about our mutual love for winter sunsets and the way the trees make perfectly misshapen silhouettes. He is only 15 but kind, and he always asks how my day has been. I love telling him the details of my work and hearing about his hopes and dreams in return. Those 15 minutes over the past five years make the world stop turning, if only for me. My sun would rise and set to those car rides, silhouetted by my boy and his dreams.
I love little reminders of loved ones lost and the way we smile when they dance in the shadows of our day – a redbird, a rainbow, a movie, a song, an omen or sign, or a simple breeze from nowhere telling us they are near. I love the stories we tell and how we’re reminded of those we love. I love life, and I love death, because it’s all beautiful – nothing truly dies.
I’ll always love cooking and eating fine food. I love recipes and the stories that accompany them. Tastes and smells are comforting and familiar, and the kitchen is the heart of our homes. I love the loudness of dishes and silverware and the quiet of a kitchen in the middle of the night. Dining out is special, dining in is sacred, but dining together with family is love – and I love everything about it.
I love nature: full moons, fireflies, summer nights. I love the beach, the mountains, rain, and snow. I love vacations full of fun and sneaking away for a nap.
My dogs love me, my family, and we love them in return. It’s a pure, special bond with no conditions – just love.
I love weird people and even weirder places, candles, and riding bikes. I love the murmur of a theater crowd just before a play begins and the warmth of my home at the end of a cold winter’s day.
I love the smell of dryer sheets and candles and making up after a fight. I love my wife’s laugh, and I love her smile even more.
I love sharing this with all of you, and I love writing with all my heart. I find bravery and vulnerability in knowing I can share a part of myself through words for all to read.
There will surely be days when the waves crash and drag you out to sea. Just remember to pause and think of all that you love. It’s always present, and it always will be.
Clay Bowen is a Columbus native who cooked professionally as a chef in fine dining for 12 years and appeared on the third season of Top Chef. He is also a licensed landscape horticulturist. Email him at [email protected].
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Quality, in-depth journalism is essential to a healthy community. The Dispatch brings you the most complete reporting and insightful commentary in the Golden Triangle, but we need your help to continue our efforts. In the past week, our reporters have posted 30 articles to cdispatch.com. Please consider subscribing to our website for only $2.30 per week to help support local journalism and our community.
