I can’t stand a slow cooker recipe that has me start with a rotisserie chicken, a can of beans or any other such nonsense.

Like, what exactly is the POINT of a long, slow cook time if all I am doing is heating everything through, Pamela?

I could do that in 30 minutes on the stovetop! Nor can I abide those slow cooker recipes that require me to sear chicken breast or brown all sides of a roast before placing it into the slow cooker.

I am trying to get three people out the door with clean teeth and matching shoes by 7:15 every morning. Two of them are not even me.

So if you really think I have time to brown all seventy-leven sides of a roast between the time I wake up in the morning and the time I jog down the steps clutching a cup of untouched coffee… well, you think I’m a better woman than I am.

And do not get me started on a slow cooker recipe that calls for some weird cook time. Who is trying to use a slow cooker for a paltry two hours at a time? Do those people exist? If they do, has anyone told them about the microwave?

Even a four-hour cook time doesn’t really cut it for a teacher’s schedule. I have a programmable slow cooker, but I still need a recipe that can withstand at least a six-hour cook. Preferably eight.

I think what we have learned here today is that I have a lot of Very Strong Feelings about slow cooker recipes.

And that’s why I was so excited to find this recipe. It was on an episode of Mandy in the Making, a YouTube channel I like. She said it was her family’s new go-to white chicken chili.

Plus, it met all my specifications: no precooked items. Long cook time.

On top of all that, it made an enormous pot of soup. Four of us ate it for dinner with two helpings leftover, and I put away two quart-sized bags in the freezer.

We ate ours over tortilla chips. It would have been good topped with sour cream, diced avocado, or shredded cheese, but I was too hungry to bother with those.

KILLER WHITE CHICKEN CHILI

(adapted from 365 days of crockpot)

Ingredients
4 Tablespoons butter
1 medium onion, diced
1 Tablespoon minced garlic
1 Tablespoon cumin
1 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 Tablespoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 pound navy beans, soaked overnight
5 cups chicken broth (I used water plus bouillon powder)
2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs
2 teaspoons salt
2 cans corn, drained
1 (8-ounce) brick cream cheese
1 jar salsa verde
1 can tomatoes with green chilis (such as Ro-Tel)
1-2 Tablespoons corn starch, if desired
Toppings, optional: tortilla chips, sour cream, shredded cheddar cheese, avocado

Directions
■ To prepare beans, pour 1 pound beans into crock of slow cooker. Remove any small stones or shriveled beans. Cover with water by at least 4 inches. Allow to sit overnight.
■ In the morning, pour off the water. Add butter, onion, garlic, cumin, paprika, oregano and pepper to the beans. Pour over chicken broth. Nestle chicken thighs into the crock. Cover with lid and cook on low 8-10 hours or high 4-5 hours.
■ When cook time has elapsed, remove chicken from crock. Slice or shred chicken into bite-sized pieces and return to pot. Add salt, corn, cream cheese, salsa verde, and Ro-Tel to slow cooker. Mix well. Cover. Allow time for cream cheese to melt, about 15 minutes. Stir until mixture appears homogenous.
■ If you would like to thicken the chili, mix one tablespoon of corn starch with one tablespoon of cool water until smooth. Add mixture to soup and stir until chili thickens. (Do not be tempted to add corn starch directly to hot liquid. You will create tiny cornstarch dumplings; you will not thicken your soup. Ask me how I know.) Serve chili over tortilla chips with toppings of your choice.

Amelia Plair is a mom and high school teacher in Starkville. Email reaches her at [email protected].

Amelia Plair is a Starkville resident who writes occasional food columns.