The Old Man’s patience was an interesting thing. How long it lasted with anyone depended directly on a few key qualities, much of it in proportion to a person’s age. I saw him deal, at one time or another, with people of every stripe on a broad variety of subjects. The Old Man suffered lots of fools, but kept himself always humble and kind no matter what — even moreso when the people in question were irksome, since his behavior spoke primarily about himself. No matter how any ever acted, and even though the Old Man could be unyielding as stone, I never saw him even think about giving up on a kid.
Boys’ decisions are driven by instincts. Their internal drive follows curiosity to adventure. They are steered, though, by guidelines from external mentorship. Just as each rocket has a column of solid propellent to make it go and fins on the surface to guide it through the sky, instincts are built into the package. The steering has to be delivered from outside. Time itself lights the fuse and, guidance system or no, it is going to go when it goes. When and where it goes determines each rocket’s fate, but how it goes requires much more than primary thrust alone.
The line of maturation from earliest boyhood through lattermost geezerdom may seem simple, but getting there passes through a great many layers of sunshine and storm. Even when conditions are stable, an uneven burn of the fuel onboard is plenty to turn an under-guided ship off course. Boys are made as they always have been. It’s up to those helping steer to keep them pointed the right way.
The Old Man was quick to point out how some people simply thrive on complaint, how they must drive any conversation by detailing what’s going wrong. I suppose that’s in the guidance they have received for their own. Unless they’re just looking for something negative to say about a boy, why would they not contribute positively to where he may go?
The thing is, it’s easy for a rocket to be in motion before we notice it. Seeing, much less catching one already sideways off the pad, can be discouraging. It can’t help but be discouraging, really, and knowing this about ourselves is vital. The Old Man kept central the perspective that we’re as human as anyone else. Wherever the errant rocket is headed, but for guidance and the grace of God, there we might be just as well ourselves. Being discouraged about a launch gone sideways is frustrating, but standing by just watching another go badly is a sin.
Rather than losing time lamenting what already could have been, ruminating in negative predictions about what obviously is about to be, move to make a difference that much sooner. The sooner we can help steer, the better the outcome may be. As long as the rocket is still in the air, there’s hope.
Kevin Tate is a freelance writer. Email [email protected].
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