For victims of assault, silence can often be as heavy as violence itself. For Evie Vidrine, that silence came from knowing what might happen if she spoke up.
“We have this default in the South, especially in Mississippi … that the victim is lying,” she said. “And nine times out of 10, that is not the case. Most victims do not want to talk about it. If they’re coming to you, it’s because they are terrified and they want help.”
Vidrine said she was sexually abused by someone she had known for two decades. The attack left her with permanent physical injuries and emotional scars she’s still learning to manage.
For Vidrine, healing didn’t come from the justice system. It came from writing, meditation and connecting with other survivors.
“Finding my voice helped me a lot,” she said. “Being able to talk about it out loud, saying this happened to me, it doesn’t make me weak. It just means it happened, and it’s something I have to live with.”
October marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a national observance to raise awareness about domestic violence, something Starkville Police Chief Mark Ballard said is all-too-common in the Golden Triangle.
“We talk about this all the time, that drugs, cash and guns dominate a lot of violence that we see, but right up under it is very consistently some form of domestic violence as far as numbers go,” Ballard told The Dispatch. “And that’s the same for the city. That’s the same for this region, and I would bet that’s the same for the state of Mississippi.”
Barriers to reporting abuse
Dorothy Sanders, a victim advocate for the city of Columbus, works with victims of misdemeanor domestic violence cases. Sanders said in September alone, she had 26 cases that went to court.
Sanders has worked for the department for 12 years, following up with victims after police respond to domestic calls and file reports. She walks victims through the court process, helps file protection orders and connects victims to shelters and resources including Safe Haven, Helping Hands and the Golden Triangle Regional Homeless Coalition.
But even with these resources, Sanders said fear and intimidation are powerful barriers that keep victims stuck in a cycle of abuse.
“I see a lot of intimidation with the victims, and a lot of low economic status,” she said. “A lot of the victims don’t work, and the abuser uses that to keep them there, or they use the children as a pawn to keep them there. A lot of times, they will … say that if you call the police, they’re going to take both of us to jail, and that’s a fearful thing for a victim, especially when they have kids involved.”
Tina Rogers, victim assistance coordinator for the 16th Circuit District Attorney’s Office, handles felony domestic cases in Oktibbeha, Clay and Noxubee counties. She said these cases involve strangulation, sexual battery and wounds that will leave a scar.
For every 200 cases indicted in Oktibbeha County, Rogers said between 25 and 30 involve aggravated domestic violence. Most, she said, stem from substance abuse.
“A lot of times, they have that common thread,” she said. “Now, let’s be clear, it doesn’t always take that, and sometimes people are just angry and explode on their significant other or partner. But I would say about 80% of the cases that I have come in contact with have that in common.”
Both Rogers and her counterpart in Lowndes County, Janie Shields, said one of the biggest issues they face is when victims of abuse choose to drop the charges rather than pursue legal action.
“A lot of times we have victims that, before it even gets to our office, they’ll call and say, … ‘We reconciled. We have children together, and I don’t want them to go to prison,’” Shields said. “So a lot of times we have victims that get victimized again.”
At Safe Haven, Case Manager Patrice Butts said with all the cases that are reported, 90% of the victims she sees never go to the police.
“Most often, domestic violence clients do not like going to court (and) do not like dealing with the police, because oftentimes they’re interrogated instead of interviewed,” she said. “They’re made to feel like they are the problem, and … like they’re the criminal.”
‘Don’t give up’
Safe Haven serves 10 counties in Mississippi, including the Golden Triangle. The shelter offers emergency housing, financial literacy classes, group counseling and communication classes.
“We see clients as young as 18 and … the oldest client that we have seen so far since I’ve been here is 67 years old,” Butts said. “They’re choked, they’re hit, there are guns put to their heads. You name it, they’ve dealt with it.”
Butts said cycles of abuse keep victims trapped from childhood, and while a month of awareness helps to shed light on the issue, it isn’t enough.
“I wish that we would talk about domestic violence more than just October,” she said. “I wish we would have these hard conversations with our police chiefs, with our judges, with our DA. I wish we would have the hard conversations with them as to why … the numbers keep increasing.”
Rogers echoed a similar sentiment, saying that victims need support year-round.
“Survivors of domestic violence need support throughout the year,” she said. “They need somewhere they can go … and they need more local resources. … We know the wheels of justice more very slowly. But don’t give up. We have your back and will help as much as we possibly can. … It’s hard and it’s difficult and it’s a long road to recovery but don’t give up.”
Resources for victims of domestic violence can be found on the Attorney General website.
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You can help your community
Quality, in-depth journalism is essential to a healthy community. The Dispatch brings you the most complete reporting and insightful commentary in the Golden Triangle, but we need your help to continue our efforts. In the past week, our reporters have posted 26 articles to cdispatch.com. Please consider subscribing to our website for only $2.30 per week to help support local journalism and our community.
