Behind a pair of black glasses are eyes that have seen a lifetime of pain and sorrow. Her graying hair tells of aging and of worry and of heartache. But the story of Arleen Peek Weatherby is not a story of woe. It is a story of fulfillment. And though her once-upon-a-time began late in life, it is no less triumphant — for her and those who have supported her along the way.
Sitting in a conference room at McKellar Technology Center Friday morning, Weatherby, 50, reflected on being in a place she hasn”t been before. A widow for five years and mother of four adult children, Weatherby, for the first time in her life, is alone. For a woman who spent her entire life taking take of others, alone has never felt less lonely.
Unfinished business
Weatherby graduated from Lee High School in 1978 and began classes at Mississippi University for Women in the fall, majoring in education. After two years of school, she married.
“I decided I just wanted to be a full-time wife and full-time mother,” Weatherby said.
Motherhood and marriage to an emotionally distant preacher proved to be more challenging than she imagined.
“I had a lifestyle that everything was supposed to be perfect,” Weatherby said.
It was perfection only from the outside looking in.
The nearly 26-year marriage was tumultuous, and when her husband, Simeon, fell ill with the rare disease Valley Fever, Weatherby became the breadwinner and the caretaker.
“My escape was helping others,” she said. “I have always been the giver, the nurturer, in any relationship …”
Wishing for death
The couple had moved from Columbus to Arizona when Simeon was diagnosed with Valley Fever. The disease later claimed his arms and legs.
“We (eventually) moved back to Columbus because he was sick. He had been sick for a long time,” Weatherby recalled. “He became a quadriplegic for the last few months of his life.”
In Arizona, Weatherby was working overnight shifts and suffering from depression and exhaustion.
One night, she parked on a busy road off the main highway, where she knew 18-wheelers frequented.
“I thought, if one of those hit me it would kill me, and it would look like an accident. No one would think I killed myself,” Weatherby recalled.
A big truck approached, and she put her foot to the accelerator.
The car didn”t move.
Weatherby believes God spared her that night, as he did two other times when she tried to take her own life.
Renewed purpose
Weatherby talked to her supervisor at work, who referred her to an employee counseling service.
“I went to a Christian counselor, and that”s what started my life (anew),” Weatherby said.
She realized she had been putting herself “on the back burner” and never embraced her own identity. Before she left home, she was her parents” daughter or her brothers” sister. Then she was the pastor”s wife and her children”s mother.
Now, she knows “life is worth living.” “And I have made up my mind that I”m going to keep living until God takes my last breath away. I”m going to keep doing for people, but I”m not going to put myself on the back burner again.
“I”ve got to take care of myself before I can take care of others.”
Finishing what she started
At her encouragement, two of Weatherby”s four children — Mary (MUW, class of 2006) and Joshua (MUW, class of 2010) have earned college degrees. Her other two children, Simeon and Sarah, are enrolled at Mississippi State University and The University of Mississippi, respectively. Simeon will graduate in December; Sarah is a freshman.
“My mom is life,” Sarah Weatherby said. “Her energy and beauty drives me to live life to the fullest.”
Three years ago, Arleen Weatherby decided to take her own advice. She re-enrolled at MUW. Saturday, after taking online and night classes while working as a full-time secretary at McKellar, Weatherby will graduate with a bachelor”s degree in general studies. She also has applied for the master”s degree program at MUW.
“Some women might have given up, or would have not even considered going back to school. My mom, however, did,” said Sarah Weatherby. “And for those reasons, I love her so much, appreciate her and am very proud of her new accomplishment!”
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Quality, in-depth journalism is essential to a healthy community. The Dispatch brings you the most complete reporting and insightful commentary in the Golden Triangle, but we need your help to continue our efforts. In the past week, our reporters have posted 44 articles to cdispatch.com. Please consider subscribing to our website for only $2.30 per week to help support local journalism and our community.
