Well, it’s dad’s turn. The month of May has packed up her tolerable temperatures and quietly slipped out the back door. The rolling wake from the “mother” of all holidays has calmed, leaving us to swelter in June while showing appreciation for good ole dependable dad.

Per usual, I was asked several times last week what I wanted for Father’s Day. Of course, this question was delivered by my wife, who takes it upon herself to make sure the lackadaisical day isn’t overlooked by our children, whom she implores to come bearing gifts. Luckily for them, I don’t ask for a thing.

I guess that’s the upside for dads. Most of us have regular jobs and can likely purchase whatever we may want or need. Moreover, that makes it equally hard to choose a gift for dad, just as it is for him to ask for one.

Since I shamefully have an overabundance of stuff that I don’t even need, I’ve decided to respond to the question of “What do I want?” from a different perspective.

So … what do I want for Father’s Day?

I want my children to discover, have and keep joy. Not only do I want them to experience joy, but I want them to understand what makes it come alive. Happiness is result-reliant, but joy is intrinsic. With an open mind, a zeal for life and a touch of crazy, joy should always burn within their souls.

I want my wife to never stop smiling, and I hope in a small way it’s because of me. I want to always make her laugh and give her things she loves. I want to be a decent husband and father and someone she’s proud to be with. I want to sweep her off her feet and be the foundation on which she lands, because then I know she’ll always smile, in part because of me.

I want to be a good son to my mother, who has loved me so dearly, and make her life easy as she once did mine.

I want to be good at my job and not worry about being great. Greatness is good, but goodness is great, and I want to always provide goodness for others.

When I write, I want readers to laugh and occasionally shed a tear. I want to learn, teach and understand everything, and I want to share it with all of you. I want to be interesting, because damn being relevant, and I want my writing to carry a tune as my voice never truly could.

Life is hard right now. Many are wrought with angst and confusion. Where we once loved our neighbors blindly, we now regard them with perspective. I want each of us to see and be seen, hear and be heard, love and be loved, and practice being decent, because decent is all we need.

I remember how hard being a dad felt when my children were young; not much has changed today. The fun comes easily, but the worry goes hard. A father’s worry is different than that of a mother. It’s quiet and unsure, often filled with “what ifs.” Fathers only want to protect their flock and lead them from going astray. That’s why we hold on tight, sometimes forgetting that we need to let go.

I want my children to treasure the good from me …

When the day has reached golden hour, or the moon is full, I want Landon to have memories of me. When Colton becomes a dad, creating fun for his own child, I hope he always remembers his stepdad, “Mr. Play” aka “Mr. Clay” (me). I want Reagan to always keep a soccer ball at her feet, kicking up memories from kicking around with me.

When I’m cranky or tired and worked to my bones, I hope my family will always understand. I do it for them, I always have and will, and I’d do it a million times over again.

This Father’s Day, give your dad a hug if he’s a hugger. Fish with him if he’s a fisherman, or cook for him if he’s an eater. If he’s a napper, let him sleep. If he’s full of energy, then take him to play. There’s no fun too big or moment too small for the ones that we call dad. He’ll do anything with you or anything for you because he’s just happy to have you around.

I may not always get what I want, but I want my loved ones to always have what they need. If their lives are a little fuller because of the man they’ve helped me become, then I want for nothing more, and I need for nothing else.

Happy Father’s Day!

Clay Bowen is a Columbus native who cooked professionally as a chef in fine dining for 12 years and appeared on the third season of Top Chef. He is also a licensed landscape horticulturist. Email him at [email protected].

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