This one may ruffle some feathers, so I urge you to take my opinion with a grain of salt. My unsolicited point of view comes from the cheap seats, and most of my lessons are from life experience alone. If there’s anything I did learn in school, though, it was to stay quiet and follow the rules. But in typical fashion, I learned it and didn’t retain it.

Be that as it may, I did learn about writing along the way. So I feel it’s my duty to put it to good use and question a few things currently being taught in schools.

What happened? When did going to school become so disheartening? When did learning lose its luster? Why did coaches start teaching and teachers start coaching? When did knowledge become uncool, and why do sports scores matter so much? How do we unravel this giant ball of confusion that has become our modern version of school? And why are we buying what is being sold without asking for receipts?

To keep your attention on such a touchy subject, I’ll begin with myself. I attended Demonstration School at Mississippi University for Women. Every day felt plucked straight from a Norman Rockwell painting. Everyone – from the principal and teachers to the P.E. coaches and crossing guard – had a vested interest in the task at hand: happy, healthy kids first, education second. Children weren’t overlooked there. The only form of winning that mattered was winning the day, which wasn’t hard under a system with no incentives.

I attended both public and private schools. I have seen both sides of the system. Throughout it all, I have personally observed one common theme: numbers. But not the ones that truly matter. If certain numbers are down, they must go up – college acceptance rates, money, elite athletes, more wins, more trophies, more points scored. And let’s not forget: always being first place. “Be the best and forget the rest” could be today’s system motto. After all, what is it all worth if we can’t applaud our children under the cool breeze that blows from championship sports banners?

But at what cost? In today’s culture, we’ve grown accustomed to accepting the means to an end. When describing most schools, I’ve heard countless parents say, “I’m just trying to get my child out of there as quickly as possible.” Where did it all go wrong?

I have a hot take on this, but remember, it’s from the nosebleeds. And per usual, I know how windy it can be upon my moral high ground. So I humbly share my perspective – from a C student, college dropout, chef, landscaper, attempted writer, and father of three – who, surprisingly to most, ended up OK despite what I never learned in school.

We need to really see kids for who they are. Even when they’re 18 and about to enter the real world, they’re still just kids. Most don’t know how to change a flat tire, fill out tax forms, fall in love, or properly scramble an egg (the last two are the most important). They don’t know who they are. From the word go, we’ve made our children feel as if life is one big race – and they will lose if they don’t keep up or play the game.

Teachers, administrators, and especially coaches play favorites. We can say they don’t, but they do – it’s human nature. Perform the best, and they will make you feel like the best. That sure beats the alternative. Just imagine how it must feel to leave the safety of your parents’ home every day and feel unnoticed for eight hours a day, five days a week, all because you’re deemed mediocre. No wonder everyone is just “trying to get out.”

I’m not scorned, just concerned. I’m actually very blessed. My children all have their share of accolades. But at home, I use a very different metric to measure quality – a metric I never learned in school. I ask: How do you feel when you lie down at night? Are you happy? Are you healthy? Do you know you’re always loved? Do you feel seen and heard, and do you know that you matter? There is no accolade in life more rewarding than being seen.

I’ve known plenty of wonderful teachers and administrators. Many haven’t failed us; the system has failed them. I also don’t think coaches can’t teach, but I grow concerned about where their educational priorities may lie in their quest for state championships.

I don’t claim to know much, but I do know this: Let’s applaud kids for being themselves rather than creating a false narrative for success. For once, I want to see “getting a job” listed on a graduation pamphlet. Stop making them think that sports and college are their only hope. For some, they’re not. And last, but most certainly not least: teach them how to scramble an egg.

Clay Bowen is a Columbus native who cooked professionally as a chef in fine dining for 12 years and appeared on the third season of Top Chef. He is also a licensed landscape horticulturist and is currently the general manager of a local landscaping company. Bowen writes in his free time and is working on a book about his experiences and travel.

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