I have tried to make homemade pizza many, many times.

I mean, I’ve succeeded. We definitely ate the results, even when they were lumpy or doughy. No matter what dough recipe I use, no matter how I knead it or how long I let it rest, it always seems much stickier and harder to work with than the recipe advertises.

I finally figured out this weekend that pizza dough is a lot like a toddler. That is, when someone tells you their pizza dough recipe is easy, it’s a bit like a parent telling you their toddler is well behaved. It may be absolutely true that the toddler is well behaved… for a toddler. In the same way, it may be absolutely true that the dough is easy to handle… for a pizza dough.

If you can accept that – that is, if you can accept that your dough might not turn out the exact same way on Thursday that it did last Tuesday – then this may be the project for you. I argue that it’s worth the hassle because the results, even if lumpy and unattractive, are almost always delicious. And cheap. Did I mention that homemade pizza is incredibly, incredibly cheap?

I used this recipe this weekend to make eight pizzas, a cheese bread, and small mozzarella-filled rolls my family calls cheese bombs.
I ran the math on the ingredients, and it came out to roughly $2 per cheese pizza. The pizzas are about 12 inches round and will only feed two people unless you add more toppings. Those toppings can be meats or vegetables you already have in the fridge, which is another budget saver.

But here’s the trick: you know how I said dough is like a toddler? If you are a parent, you already know that toddlers are the worst at transitioning from one activity to the next. If you’ve never witnessed tears when you tell a kid to get into the bath, and more tears when you tell that same kid it’s time to get out of the bath, then I’m not sure you’ve lived with a toddler. The fix, of course, is the heads up. “It’ll be time for a bath in five minutes.” (Never mind that they have no idea how long five minutes really is – it could be as long as 15 minutes or as short as one.)

As it turns out, the same is true for pizza dough. One does not simply let a ball of dough rest for a few minutes and then roll it out into a lovely crust.

Listen, I know the recipes say it’s possible. But the parenting books probably said it was possible to leave the house with less than an hour of lead time too. People lie. Especially experts. Dough needs a transition period too. Make the dough, roll it into balls, let it rise… then give it a heads up. Stretch it out with your hands to let it know it will be turning into a flat disc. You probably won’t get it to 12 inches, but a 6-inch disk is enough to let it know it’s about that time. Let it rest in that shape for a while – maybe mix up the sauce or grate the cheese. About 15 minutes should do it. After that, sprinkle on a bit more flour, pick it up and drape it over your fists. Gently make punching motions, like Stallone does in the Rocky movies, with those tiny little punching bags. (Zack says these are called speed bags. Now you know.)

You might need to turn the disc over to keep it from taking a round shape, but this strategy worked surprisingly well. Turns out the dough just needed a warning.

LITTLE VILLAGE HOMESTEAD PIZZA SAUCE AND DOUGH

(adapted; makes about 10 12-inch pizzas)

No-Cook Pizza Sauce
Ingredients:
2 (6-ounce) cans tomato paste
2 cups water
2 tablespoons oregano
1 1/2 tablespoons garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
1/2 tablespoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 tablespoon sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons oil

Directions:
■ Mix all ingredients in a mixing bowl. Use as desired on par-baked crusts or as a dipping sauce. Makes enough for at least 10 pizzas; recipe may be halved.

Pizza Dough
Ingredients:
3 tablespoons yeast
3 tablespoons sugar
4 cups warm water (110°–115°F)
1/3 cup oil
1 1/2 tablespoons salt
9 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting hands and surfaces

Directions:
■ In a large bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer, mix yeast in water and sugar. Wait 5–10 minutes to make sure yeast is active; it should become foamy. Add oil, then flour and salt. Incorporate all ingredients.
■ Allow dough to rest, covered, in the bowl for about 10 minutes. Knead by hand or with a mixer for 10 minutes. Cut dough into eight to 10 roughly equal portions. Roll each portion into a ball. Let dough balls rest, covered, for 20 minutes.
■ Preheat oven to 450°F. Roll and stretch dough balls into a disc shape as much as possible; mine were only about 5 inches across. (I have limited counter space, so I did this on parchment paper, using parchment to separate multiple layers of dough discs.)
■ Allow discs to rest 10–15 minutes. Drape dough over your fists and gently “punch” to encourage stretching. Place dough in an oiled pan. I made oblong pizzas on rimmed cookie sheets, but a 12-inch cast iron skillet is ideal. Prick the crust all over with a fork.
■ Par-bake crust 5–7 minutes. Remove from oven, top with sauce, cheese and other toppings. If eating immediately, bake another 8–10 minutes to melt cheese and heat toppings. If freezing, bake from frozen at 425°F for 18–24 minutes.

Amelia Plair is a mom and high school teacher in Starkville. Email reaches her at [email protected].

Amelia Plair is a Starkville resident who writes occasional food columns.

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