The idea, surely an unpopular view in some quarters, has been rolling around in my head for some time now, so I am choosing today to share it so that I can start off the new year with an unfettered mind and a clean slate.
With a single exception — a literary reference I use to prove an important point — I will address this topic without actually swearing and I’m sure you will note the irony of that since the topic is…swearing.
You may refer to it also as cursing or, if you’re from the South, cussin’.
In my 62 years, I’ve become quite proficient at cussin’ although the craft did not come early or naturally for me.
I grew up in a household where seldom was heard an off-color word. This was particularly true of my patient, kind-hearted, soft-spoken mama, who I don’t think ever uttered a “d—” or even a “s—.” in her entire 84 years.
Yet, for my dad, a man who loved to argue, debate, bicker and nitpick almost any topic, maintaining a Sunday School vocabulary must have required remarkable discipline. So when moved to the heights of passion, he relied on a substitute phrase for all of the inappropriate words he really wanted to let fly.
That phrase was “confound it.”
Just about every misfortune he ever encountered was peppered with “confound its!” and he said it is such a way that it sounded like cussin’ even though it wasn’t.
I grew up in a G-rated household, but departed from the path of verbal virtue early in my school years.
In my day, boys of a certain age acquired a fascination for two things. The first was the average, every-day, girl-next-door anatomy of the female form as so faithfully and accurately depicted in the pages of Playboy Magazine.
The second was cussin’. Early on, I acquired the basics – d—, s—, h— and a– (the last one can be combined with the word “hole” to form a personal pronoun so it’s a particularly versatile and useful cuss word, especially when you’re around Republicans.
But in the mid-1960s, a new word was discovered (or so I imagined at the time) and it spread like a whisper on the playground.
By definition, it combined both boyhood fascinations, but we learned it was a word that could be used to express the same sentiments as my dad’s “confound it.”
Over the years, it has evolved as a powerful, all-purpose addition to my vocabulary.
I pause to make one important distinction – the difference between swearing, which I generally accept and condone, and vulgarity, which I despise.
This particular word can be used as either, depending on context. I use it figuratively rather than literally.
I realize that today there remains strong sentiment that cussin’ is unacceptable. I’ve heard it said that the use of such words is the indication of a poor vocabulary.
I don’t believe it. I’m certain most of the world’s literary giants were prodigious cussers (although their editors certainly weren’t). I just don’t buy the notion that Hemingway or Faulkner went around saying “heck” or “shoot.”
Cuss words are part of the fabric of our society and cultural identity, no matter your station in life.
Don’t believe me?
Consider one of the most famous lines in film history — Rhett Butler’s parting words to Scarlett O’Hara: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!”
The film was released in 1939, so I’m sure the line evoked a lot of pearl-clutching (I mean that literally since people “dressed” to go to the movies back then).
But I put it to you:
If Rhett had turned to Scarlett at that moment and said, “Frankly, my dear, I’m ambivalent!” do you still think we would still remember that line 82 years later?
No. That’s because a world without cussin’ would be as bland as food without seasoning.
Cuss words are to conversation what herbs and spices are to cooking. They add flavor. Think of “d—” and “h—” as the salt and pepper of the English language. Almost every dish or discussion is improved by them.
Other words, most notably that particular word I acquired on the playground circa 1967, are what cloves and cinnamon are to cooking: Best used sparingly so as not to overpower the meal or the conversation. Remember, when it comes to cloves and that particular cuss word, a little goes a long way.
But we need those words like potatoes need salt.
Frankly, dear readers, a world where there is no cussin’ would be a d— h—.
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
You can help your community
Quality, in-depth journalism is essential to a healthy community. The Dispatch brings you the most complete reporting and insightful commentary in the Golden Triangle, but we need your help to continue our efforts. In the past week, our reporters have posted 43 articles to cdispatch.com. Please consider subscribing to our website for only $2.30 per week to help support local journalism and our community.