When Columbus resident Summer Clayton opened his TikTok account a year and a half ago, he never imagined it would lead to his role as a surrogate dad to more than 3 million followers.
“I just really enjoyed engaging with people,’’ he said. ”After a couple of months I had about a thousand followers, maybe less. I just enjoyed getting up in the morning and seeing what was going on. There was no message or idea I was trying to get out there. It was just for fun.”
Late in 2020, a follower asked him: “Hey, dad, can you show me how to shave?” In his next TikTok post, Clayton demonstrated how to shave.
Up until that point, Clayton had never thought about taking on a dad persona, but the shaving video caught fire, adding thousands of followers to his account within just a few hours. Stunned by the reaction, Clayton changed his TikTok account to “yourprouddad” (also his Instagram account name) and built the content around Clayton sharing a virtual meal with his son or daughter.
By the start of 2021, these “Dinner with Dad” or “Breakfast with Dad” videos had grown his TikTok audience to a half-million. The growth of his following is exponential — he now has 3.1 million. It isn’t like it will stop anytime soon. In June, CNN told his story. NBC is also working on a piece about Clayton, exposure that is certain to push his audience to even higher numbers.
The videos
Clayton posts to TikTok once or twice a week. By far, the most popular videos are the dinners or breakfasts with Dad. Using his smartphone, Clayton greets his “child” and shares a meal, putting the child’s food in the foreground and creating a virtual dinner table conversation.
Clayton asks two questions during the meal-time chat: “What’s one good thing that happened to you?” and “What’s one challenge you’re facing today?”
He pauses after each question, as if listening to the response, then offers affirmation with a “that’s cool” or “I’m so proud of you” after the good thing. After the challenge, he adds, “I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that” or “Just remember, you are not alone. You can talk to someone about this. You can do this. Now, let’s eat!”
It’s a simple, necessarily generic, exchange over the brief amount of time allowed on the TikTok platform.
But somehow, the videos have connected with an audience in ways Clayton never imagined.
An unlikely persona
In many respects, Clayton is poorly prepared for the role he plays. First, he’s only 26 years old and is single with no children of his own. His experience with his dad, particularly during his adolescent and teen years, left much to be desired. He has no training as a psychologist or therapist.
But what he does have, if his enormous following is any indicator, is an almost magical rapport with his audience. There is a gentleness and optimism that shows through in his posts. No judgment, only affirmation. It’s the sort of ideal, casual exchange between a father and child, full of acceptance and warmth and encouragement.
A look at the hundreds, sometimes thousands, of comments after each of his TikTok posts indicate there is something that resonates deeply and emotionally with his audience, some of whom are, in fact, old enough to be Clayton’s dad.
His most recent TikTok post from Friday has drawn almost 700 comments.
A few examples:
“I’m in a rly bad situation with my friends and a girl I like, can u pls wish me luck? I’m scared she doesn’t like me…”
“I wish my dad was like this. we barely talk.”
“When you had a rough day and smile cause your video came up first and now it doesn’t feel so bad. Thank you!”
“i haven’t had a father figure my entire life and you always make my day you even got me my favorite food!”
“My problem today was, that i got kicked out from my old friend group that i was with 24/7 …”
“Hey! I have dad issues lol he’s not a bad dad but he’s just a workaholic and he’s barely home. This made my day, thanks!”
“I’m going to college!”
What’s going on here?
Clayton spent his formative years in North Dakota and his interests have always been in physical fitness. He has a bachelor’s degree in corporate fitness and a master’s in kinesiology. He moved to Columbus in mid-April where he works with the airmen at Columbus Air Force Base as a civilian fitness coach/trainer. When he’s not on the job, he enjoys photography, cooking and weight-lifting.
You can think of Clayton as “Mr. Rogers with Muscles.”
“I think when people look at the content I make, they reflect on the way their parents treated them or the role of their parents in their life,” Clayton said, noting his relationship with his own dad has improved significantly over the past year. “I think maybe it’s the lack of love or (maybe it’s) the peace or joy that they get from my content. Having content like mine is a kind of a template for what a good relationship with a parent looks like, even though there is no perfect dad. It may even be a chance to heal a relationship. For me, that’s such a joy.”
For Clayton the joy comes at an emotional cost. Some of the comments are poignant and sad. At first, when his audience was smaller, he could reach out to them for a personal message. Now, with hundreds and thousands of comments after every post, that’s no longer feasible.
“I had one kid who asked if I would adopt him,” Clayton said. “I remember shedding a tear. That’s just so sad. Now, there are so many comments, I’m afraid now that I’m going to miss a comment from someone who’s having his worst day. One good piece of advice I got recently was, ‘Their wins are not your wins. Their losses are not your losses.’ But it’s still something I struggle with today. I have to remind myself to take a step back. You can only do so much.”
With 3.1 million “kids,” that “only so much” has turned out to be quite a lot.
“I guess it means this content is doing what it’s supposed to do,” Clayton said.
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is ssmith@cdispatch.com.
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