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MSU Mailbag: Jim's best pranks on Dwight, losses in The Hump and more




So those of you that saw the tweet asking for questions noticed I used a Dwight Schrute GIF in my request tweet. Naturally that got a couple of questions about The Office, so let's hit those now and then we'll get to football, I promise. 


- What up, @CalebGarnerMSU. If you could make a top 10 power rankings of Jim Halpert's trans on Dwight in the entirety of The Office, which would make the cut? 


I love this question because he didn't force me to rank them in order, just which ones would make the cut. Because by God ranking these would be brutal. 


Here's what I came up with: 


- When Dwight is in charge of insurance and they list a bunch of fake medical issues. This is pretty much on the list exclusively because the way Rainn Wilson delivers the line, "hot dog fingers," slays me every single time. 


- When Jim and Pam have the Asian man take his place and trick Dwight with everyone thinking it's actually Jim. The pictures, the company passwords, the whole nine. Incredible. 


- When Jim takes scissors and pops the fitness ball Dwight is using as a chair. 


- When Jim puts Dwight's desk in the bathroom. "Wash your hands, Kevin." 


- If I did have to rank these, this would be a candidate for No. 1: the altos and the Pavlov's dogs trick. He makes the Windows chime a trigger for Dwight to want an Altoid and it's amazing. 


- When he puts all of Dwight's stuff in the vending machine and (eventually) gives him a ton of quarters.  


- His diabolical plans to put a few nickels into Dwight's phone set each day to make it heavier, just to take them all out and have Dwight hit himself in the head. 


- This would also be up there for No. 1: When he turns Dwight's desk into gift wrap and Dwight crashes through it all. 


- When Dwight says he is going to stand all work day just to fashion some hidden stool that Jim ultimately discovers. "You know I have to do this, right?" "Yes." [VIOLENT KICK] 


- Any time Jim convinces Dwight he's been recruited by the CIA. 


- And my man Daniel Montgomery (@dalemo830) -- What's the best scene of The Office episode "Stress Relief"? 


So we talked about this on Twitter shortly thereafter and a moment I came up with was when Michael yelled at Stanley about the President being black and Stanley also being black, as if those two things made it impossible for Stanley to die. But I already gave him that one, so I'll give him another one. 


How about when Andy thinks Jim and Pam are some incredible movie prophets with what they say about that pirated Jack Black movie, even though what they're talking about it only tangentially related to the movie? The mind screw on Andy is impeccable. 


- Alright, let me do two sports questions before we wrap with some jokes. Cody Perkins (@cody17perkins) -- What do you think happens with the QBs if Fields ends up in Starkville? 


I think there would be a competition between Fields and Keytaon Thompson. Keytaon is pretty advanced in his training here, it won't be easy to unseat. 


But that does take me to two thoughts on the whole Justin Fields thing. 


1 - He's going to go somewhere for playing time. After the bowl game, Mississippi State will have three scholarship quarterbacks on roster and none of them are seniors, two of them will be freshmen. That's not ideal. 


2 - Transfer quarterbacks are not the messiah as much as people like to think they are. There are obvious examples of timers where it worked out at a Power 5 level -- Joe Burrow, Gardner Minshew, etc. -- but the list of failures is far longer than the list of successes, when you filter out guys transferring to lower levels of football. Keller Chryst to Tennessee, didn't start; Everett Golson to Florida State, nope; Wilton Speight at UCLA didn't go as planned; neither did Quinten Dormady to Houston or Blake Barnett to Arizona State. 


Every coach loves having more talent, and Justin Fields would just that. Where I try to caution people is, there are no guarantees beyond that. He's just like any other player: once he gets on campus, he has to make it work. 


- And the other sports question, from @crawford_cam95 -- Do you think both basketball teams go undefeated in the Hump this season? 


Very good question, Cam. 


Let's start with the women, where let's be real, it's a pretty easy yes. I mean, it took a ridiculous free throw shooting performance on the road at a top 10 team to catch a single-digit loss; it seems likely they'll be able to take care of business when all the environmental factors are in their favor. 


Now we look at the men. Here's the schedule: BYU, Ole Miss, Florida, Auburn, LSU, Kentucky, Alabama, South Carolina, Missouri and Texas A&M. The serious trouble there is Auburn, I think that game's going to be a coin flip by the time it gets here once you factor in MSU's homeport advantage. Florida and Kentucky could be tricky tasks, as well. 


Put it this way: I wouldn't bet on MSU to go undefeated at home this year, but I also wouldn't bet on them to lose more than twice. Really, I'm not sure I would bet on them to lose twice at home. 


- Alright, let's wrap this thing with two from @Wesley_Johnson 1) What is your favorite football guy phrase? Jason Witten called Luke Kuechly, "a football playin' Jesse," on Monday Night football, no idea what that means. 2) What in the blue heck is a "football move"? Or what is a catch? 


1) "Grinder," and here's why. In basketball and baseball, for instance, there is a certain meaning to that. A grinder in basketball can be a guy that impacts winning without loading up the box score: takes a charge, makes a smart switch on defense, passes into an assist, perfect screen, things like that. In baseball, that's a hard groundout to move a runner, working a 9-pitch at-bat, something like that. 


Football doesn't quite have that gray area. It's black and white game, 11 1-on-1 matchups that are either won or lost, for the most part. When a guy is called a grinder, for the most part that just means you don't know what he is. 


2) Allow me to recycle my usual joke at the NFL catch rule. I always say to get a catch in the NFL, one must take the ball to a nice dinner, take it to meet their parents and take it on a nice vacation at least two time zones away. 


You think refs miss those kinds of details, but if you're playing a game in Seattle and you take that football to a nice spa in New Mexico, they're gonna see right through that. That's Mountain time, homie, no catch for you. 




Follow Dispatch sports writer Brett Hudson on Twitter @Brett_Hudson



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