Marriages, and relationships of any sort, find ways to co-exist. Some couples may have separate bedrooms or even separate houses. There are deep friendships where certain subjects are off-limits. We find our own levels, our personal comfort zones. The rules are fluid, perhaps continuously changeable. Unquestionably, these practices are not the same for every person, every marriage, every friendship. With time, we discover what is best for us.
My husband, Chris, and I are together all day. Since both of us work at home (and often at the same table) there is very little time apart. After almost 18 years together we have ironed out a few glitches. Amazingly, we still like each other.
One of our laws for peace and harmony is to have separate computers. We may share the toothpaste, the ice cream, the pets (otherwise known as “our children”), and a joint bank account. However, our computers are strictly exclusive.
We both write and edit. Chris designs web sites for a lot of very different people. We have our own friends on Facebook and in email. We even prefer different search engines.
But, (horror of horrors!) last week Chris’ two computers went on strike. They may be upset because of overuse and abuse. So far, no messages of demands have been presented. We are waiting for a ransom note or a list of orders and ultimatums. The machines remain eerily silent.
Joseph Campbell (American mythologist, author and all-around genius) said, “Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.” This may be a time of “opportunities”; however, it seems to only be a time when I run through the house screaming and pulling my hair. Chris’ website work has overruled my working on books three and four (yes, I am writing two at the same time), because he gets paid for his efforts.
One group that has a new site designed by Chris is the Mississippi Gourd Society. I was amazed at the works of art created from a lowly gourd. The plants grow into graceful shapes, some smooth, some with bumpy surfaces or curly necks. They can be painted, burned (like wood burning or leather burning), trimmed with beads, pine needles, or have three-dimensional flower decor. I could run out of space trying to describe all the fab effects. Check out their site mississippigourdsociety.org. to see for yourself.
My “friend,” Joseph Campbell, is most famous for talking about bliss. “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls,” he said. Evidently, he was not aware that “walls” have not turned into “doors” for me. They are only convenient things to beat my head against.
I have to give him credit for his wisdom, though. Maybe I’m not approaching this in the right way. Perhaps my bliss may come from some quiet moments away from the computer, doing something introspective and creative. Does anyone know where to buy gourds and crafting tools?
In the meantime, cross your fingers that Chris will be typing away at his own personal computers very soon. I have a lot of Facebook to catch up on — photos of cute animals, and recipes, and people on vacation. And, oh yes, a bit of writing, as well.
Adele Elliott, a New Orleans native, moved to Columbus after Hurricane Katrina.