Leah Sullivan: You > your problems

I’m not the type to hand out compliments with reckless abandon. Not that there’s anything wrong with it; I’m just not one to use flattery to break the ice, I guess. So if I say, “You look great,” well then, you must be channeling a model or movie star because I always try to say what I mean and mean what I say.

There are several people who I’ve watched slowly but surely transform their bodies over my own year of transformation at the YMCA. I am deeply inspired and moved by seeing people work really hard for what they want out of life, especially when it comes to health.

One woman in particular has really caught my eye with her new love of cardio glow. Every time I see her, she’s bringing it, 110 percent. She inspires me to step up my own game.

So I decided to tell her that I’m starting to see her getting smaller and smaller, that she looks great, and that all of her hard work is paying off. She couldn’t accept the compliment. Without missing a beat, it was “Oh but I have so much more to go,” and “But my tummy and my saddlebags … ” It made me sad that she didn’t seem to have the confidence to appreciate how far she’d already come in her weight loss journey and the amazing job she’s doing taking charge of her health.

Perhaps some feel that it would be too arrogant or proud to just say, “thank you.” But I think there’s something beautiful about a woman who can gracefully accept a compliment. Sadly, more often than not, in our youth/beauty/perfection-obsessed culture, kudos are dismissed. For some reason, the negative always outshines the positive.

In regards to weight loss, we think praise is undeserved until we reach that perfect weight or dress size. Whether we receive congratulations with graceful acceptance or a wave of dismissal, both are reflections on how we value our own selves.

So much of how we see and feel about ourselves is wrapped up in the way our parents treated us as children. I recently read an article about how negative comments from a parent sting far worse than comments from strangers, friends or, surprisingly, even significant others. Which, to me, makes perfect sense as our parents, or the people who raise us, are our first influences for everything — including body image and self confidence.

I consider myself very lucky to have parents who fostered a healthy self-confidence within me from an early age. No joke, my mom has complimented me on one thing or another every single day of my almost 29 years. My mom taught me that I am beautiful inside and out regardless of any shortcomings. I sincerely believe the self-worth ingrained into my very being, knowing exactly who I am, where my strengths lie, and what I believe in, has helped me though a lot of life’s sticky situations, including my struggle with weight.

Confidence is not a number on the scale or a dress size. Self esteem comes from knowing your self-worth is far greater than the thing you struggle with. We all have problems and issues, whether they’re visible on the outside for everyone to see or simmering within. You are greater than your problems.

Please don’t let your weight define you. You are so much more than a number on the scale. In one way or another, we are all beautiful, talented and worthy of confidence and a healthy self-esteem. Reaching a weight loss goal is a wonderful accomplishment: Just don’t forget to enjoy and appreciate the journey along the way.

Leah Sullivan of Columbus has been on a productive journey to a healthier lifestyle and shares some of her experiences with readers. Follow {Nourish} on Facebook.

The Dispatch Editorial Board is made up of publisher Peter Imes, columnist Slim Smith, managing editor Zack Plair and senior newsroom staff.

Leah Sullivan