We do not know its name or even its gender, yet for the past two weeks the biggest celebrity in these parts has been a red-tailed boa constrictor that somehow escaped from its Starkville home on March 18.
Since the Starkville Police Department alerted the community of this rather large at-large snake a couple of weeks ago, the Starkville Snake has somehow fired the imagination of the community. Starkville Snake even had its own Twitter page, which attracted more than 500 followers as of Sunday, when the snake was located not far from its residence and returned to its owners. While the idea that a seven-foot reptile and known predator may have created some anxiety in the community, for most folks the idea that a snake was on the loose seemed sort of whimsical.
The snake’s owners are not at all interested in shedding any light on the subject, which has opened the door for all sorts of idle speculation.
Now that it has been returned, the snake will slither back into obscurity with no damage done, as far as can be determined.
But it does make me wonder about the whole idea of pets, specifically what kinds of animals we keep as pets. Dogs and cats are, by far, the most common pets, but the list of generally-accepted pets is long indeed: birds, horses, fish, turtles and all manner of rodents, from rats to rabbits.
Animals once considered solely as livestock are now kept as pets, too.
In the 1980s, pot-bellied pigs became something of a fad, and emus, ostriches and llamas are not uncommon in the U.S. In the rural South, even raccoons have been known to be kept as pets, although I have yet heard of a single instance where that experiment proved to be successful for more than a short period of time.
The keeping of snakes as a pet is nothing new, either, but I’ve never really understood the attraction.
In my view, any animal that is incapable of showing affection or providing companionship does not make a good pet. By that standard, snakes are a particularly poor choice.
I defy anyone to look into the cold unblinking eyes of a snake and discern what it is thinking, let alone any emotions it might harbor. A cat may show its affection by rubbing its body against you and a dog may seek the comfort of your lap as an expression of affection. But when a boa constrictor wraps its body around someone, it is just as likely to be looking for a meal as a hug. You are never entirely sure.
What then, is the attraction? Aside from perhaps the rather morbid spectacle of watching a snake kill and consume its dinner, they are pretty boring animals. The snakes I have observed in captivity mainly just sit around in a coiled-up ball under the heat lamp for hours and hours and hours.
What’s even remotely interesting about that?
For what it’s worth, the American Humane Society takes a pretty dim view of keeping reptiles as pets, too. It’s not only potentially dangerous for humans and other small animals, but it’s not good for the snakes, either.
The AHS says the majority of reptile owners keep their pets for less than one year. Some animals die due to poor care, while others, including unwanted snakes, may be intentionally released outdoors or escape from poorly secured cages. Requiring specialized expertise and care, many captive constrictor snakes end up suffering from starvation, dehydration, parasites, respiratory infections, mouth rot and other symptoms of neglect. And, there have been many cases of extreme cruelty to these snakes.
All of that is not to say that people should not be allowed to keep snakes, of course.
In Mississippi, it’s live and let live and to each his own — (unless you are LGBT).
I just think we are all better off to stick with dogs and cats and horses.
When my dog licks may face, I never have to worry if his next move is to swallow my head.
With a snake, well, you can never really be sure.
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
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