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Carol Littlejohn: Gerald
May 18, 2009
Carol Littlejohn
I do not know what to say or really what to write in this story but I am going to try to tell you my feelings about Gerald. You see, Gerald was my first love back in the “good old days” as we all like to say. I began to date him in my senior year at S. D. Lee High School in 1968. We dated each other for four years. I was at “The W,” and his parents sent him off to “Southern.” He hitched a ride home most every weekend, and on those sad Sundays, I would take him over to Bob’s Place to catch his ride back down to Hattiesburg. I cried many a tear at his leaving.
However, with most first loves ours went south and just never found those first flutterings we initially had for each other. I wouldn’t say we didn’t love each other anymore (did we know what love was?), just, that we felt we had bigger fish to fry at our young ages. Oh, what it would be like to be 20 years old again and have those “thoughts” of such bright futures. Of course, by now, I can say that those futures were not so light-filled and things never turn out like you think they will.
Gerald had three brothers, one older and two younger. His sweet mother kept children in their home and his father was a long time educator here in Columbus. A fine family they were. On the weekends, Gerald would have to share a black Mustang with his older brother, one night for him and one night for Gerald. Of course, being a nice Southern belle, my mother would not allow me to use my car because “nice” girls did not use their car for dates.
Doing the math ( and I still can’t) that seems to have left Gerald and me with just one date night a weekend, and so we had that one night to discover what we liked and didn’t, what to eat or not and if we were going to dance at the Straight 8 or go to the Varsity for a good movie?
We lived through the draft lottery and saw the first steps taken on the moon on a black and white television. Together, we had five dollars to spend every week-end and no air-conditioning in our cars, but we felt we had it all, for awhile, anyway.
Gerald made me feel important. He liked me fat or not, too short hair or not and he heard every word I ever said, I just know. Of course, some of you might say that is why we parted but others know what I mean.
We saw the “light” at Mayhew together and I promise, I was not scared because I knew Gerald would get me home and on time. He didn’t seem too embarrassed about my dancing every time I heard the Temptations or singing at the top of my ability their song, “My Girl.” I think, I am not sure, but Gerald thought I could have been America’s next “Idol.”
But, like I said, things just sorta went south for us and we moved on to that greener pasture that we are all still looking for.
Forty years have passed, and I can say that Gerald set the standard high for my next great love. I expected my doors opened for me and my desperate phone calls answered. He never married but I did. I had a son, my only child, and he had none. I divorced and raised my child alone and Gerald was just down in Louisiana. If he could have read my mind he would have known he was not alone, then or even now. The years rocked on by, and yesterday came and then, today.
About a month ago, my BFF called to tell me that Gerald had been diagnosed with that dreaded disease, cancer. Boy, did I have a moment back in time. I thought, what if we had married; what if we had stayed in touch; what would we have done now? The only answer I could come up with was that I was going to see him. I would just go but like all good intentions, I didn’t.
I have heard that the road to heaven is paved with good intentions and I think I have paved that road, even four-laned it in my lifetime. I did get out an e-mail to all of our classmates asking for a card to be sent to Gerald, but I did not even get mine sent.
Up in the morning on Thursday, May 14, I got a phone call. Gerald had been found dead, alone in his home, in Louisiana. A friend had found him; he had come to take him to another doctor’s appointment. I guess we all feel at a time such as this one that if we could have just talked to him or her or if we could just have sat a spell with them we might could have turned things around, but that is just life and we can’t live with “might-have-beens.”
I don’t know why I have written this or even if it will see the light of another day, but I try to do what my heart is feeling, and today it is heavy. I just wanted to remember that someone who turned a cloudy day into sunshine and the cold into a day in May.
When a first love is snatched away from us a little part of us goes too. At the least, I know Gerald will never hear “My Girl” again, but I will, and my memory of him will be with me, forever young.
Carol Littlejohn is an occasional contributor to The Dispatch. Her e-mail address is carollittlejohn@cableone.net
Tom Green | 5/18/2009 4:19:00 PMmark as inappropriate This is a heartfelt true story.
S.Degraffenreid | 5/18/2009 11:40:00 PMmark as inappropriate A lesson to all "never put off until tomorrow what you can do today" for tomorrow may very well be to late.
RONNIE FLINT | 5/19/2009 11:04:00 AMmark as inappropriate CAROL THANKS AGAIN FOR THE GREAT STORY. IT HAS ADDED ANOTHER WONDERFUL CHAPTER TO MY " BIG GER" MEMORY BOOK. YOUR STORY REMINDS ME THAT GERALD WAS ALWAYS A GREAT FRIEND AND GENTLEMAN. LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU WHEN I COME TO COLUMBUS.
RONNIE FLINT "BIG G's" FRIEND AND RUNNING BUDDY
Butch Crouse | 5/19/2009 5:09:00 PMmark as inappropriate Carol; First of all you never fail to amaze me with your writting skills. You have a gift that needs to be used to its fullest extent.
I just returned from Gerald's services in Covington and it reminded me of how we shared him with his Pascagoula family after we left Southern. Feel assured that they held him in as high esteem as we in Columbus did and celebrated as well as mourned his passing. It often reminded me of scenes from The Big Chill. I guess we are at the age that we should be expecting similar situations occuring more often. Again, thanks for your touching remembrances of "G".
tom brown | 5/22/2009 1:35:00 PMmark as inappropriate as i wrote to ronnie flint last week...i spoke to gerald at larry's last thanksgiving via carl's cell phone and mentioned i would like to come down to mandeville for a visit one day...of course gerald said anytime just let me know..i included gerald in many emails of various stuff along with carl, stevie atkins and larry...will miss sending him my internet stuff...take care tom
Stan Flint | 5/23/2009 9:25:00 PMmark as inappropriate This is the text of the eulogy that it was my great honor to give in Mandeville for Gerald.
Gerald Wayne Collums
A Friend's Tribute To Love's Prince
July 31, 1950 – May 18, 2009
Supplication
May the words of this mouth and The Meditations of this heart Find Favor in your sight, oh, Lord.
It is a true honor and great privilege to share some memories in celebration of the life and home going of Gerald Collums, our beloved friend, son and brother. Gerald was my roommate, business partner and pal who it was my great pleasure to know for thirty eight years.
To his father Curtis; brothers Carl, Hal and Larry; and all who love Gerald, we his Pascagoula “family” extend our prayers and love in this time of grief and loss.
Yet with all our heartache, we should know that Gerald is in the arms of the angels today, and he would say to us all, “Now, don't be sad about me. I am doing fine and am waiting for you just down the road”.
Allow me to share a few stories with you about “Ger”, “Big G” or “Waldo” as he was lovingly referred to by those of us who were fortunate enough to have adopted him into our Pascagoula family. (It seems one of our group thought Waldo sounded better than Wayne, go figure).
Gerald was a big mountain of a man with an even bigger heart. Like a mountain he was solid, stable and sure. Everyone who ever met Gerald loved him.
He told me of his late Mother Kathleen taking care of kids when he lived at home and how he loved them and they loved him. He loved animals, cool weather, hot music and good food.
Above all, Gerald loved his family and friends. We know from his own words that love, family and friends were the very last things on his mind when he shuffled off his mortal coil and left this world with its pain and suffering.
Gerald had great strength, but even greater gentleness. His broad back and huge arms could hold up our friend John's car when it fell off the jack, yet those massive hands could fashion a delicate design from a string of nylon.
Gerald loved large, yet he lived small. His life he lived on his own terms, just as he took on this horrible disease on his own terms. Gerald never compromised his unhurried, unhassled and “Take it easy”, approach to life. And if you ever tried to rush Gerald, you would have found it easier to push a rope.
To Gerald, life was like a canoe trip; going with flow, taking the time to smell the roses as he placidly steered through life's snags and rapids with ease and grace. After canoeing with Gerald in the river and in life for nearly four decades, it was a sublime experience (and one in which my shirt tail never got wet).
Here are a few things about Gerald you may not know.
Gerald loved the outdoors, whether fishing, hunting, canoeing, riding horses or motorcycles.
Gerald was fast, both with his hands and on his feet. Few made the mistake twice of challenging Gerald to a foosball game for money or playing hand slap with him. Everyone who did lost. And when I gave him a love tap in the groin after a concert, he chased me down and put the death grip on this scrawny neck just enough to evoke a quick “Uncle” from his antagonist.
However, unless one was foolish enough to try the behaviors discussed above, one would rarely witness this lightning speed because Gerald was a master of “motion efficiency”. He never wasted a move or expended any unnecessary effort to accomplish the objective at hand. This even applied to Gerald's unique speech pattern called “Gerish”.
He created his own language which contracted entire sentences down to two words. One morning we waited for our business partners who were late for a 7:30 AM breakfast. Gerald was no fan of early anything and in his frustration said “Shey'ed c'mon”. The English translation of this Gerish phrase was “I wish they would come on.” Or if Gerald was trying to help you he might ask, “Need 'n nang?” This meant “do you need anything?' As said, he was a genius of efficiency.
Gerald was an extraordinary craftsman who could make anything and had an engineer's insight into how things work.
Gerald was an adventurer. There was the day that we drove to Pensacola to meet our business partners who had drove down the night before after concluding a successful “rock and roll night” at Flick's, the college age beer bar we owned together In Pascagoula.
We all ended up in Disneyworld that night with two girlfriends, one toothbrush and my dog which we smuggled into the room. Four days later we returned after one of the best trips we ever had together. Even the girls who both got fired said it was worth it. I agree.
Gerald loved to laugh, tell and hear stories and he loved to haggle on EBay. Although my brother Ronnie swears that Gerald never sold any of the stuff he bought. So Ronnie ribbed him saying Gerald wasn't really a trader but a customer only. I know that was not true because Gerald's last mission we went on just before he died was to pack and ship an electric guitar to an EBay customer who was waiting on it.
Ronnie was one of our partners at Flicks and worked and played with Gerald in Mandeville where they both lived for Gerald's last eight years. Ronnie found Gerald while picking him up for another round of interminable doctor's appointments. Ronnie cared for Gerald after he got sick, helped Gerald plan his funeral and coordinated his affairs in the aftermath of his passing. Thank you, Ronnie for taking care of our Prince.
Gerald was a healer who always wanted everyone to get along without conflict or problems. Even when Gerald had been stabbed by a local thug from a bad family that we had banned from our bar, it was Gerald who kept my brother Kenny from rounding up his old scrapping buddies to “go teach these punks that no one hurts Gerald!” Of course, Gerald would have nothing of that and talked Kenny out of it by saying. “That kid didn't hurt me and I don't want you getting in trouble over me”. That was that.
Gerald loved large. His capacity for love was greater than his considerable size or his powerful strength. Gerald demonstrated both his love and his strength to the very end. As stated in a poem he put in his senior english poetry notebook, Gerald “Refused to go gently into that good night”. In so refusing, Gerald knew he would prevent countless heartache and suffering by those who loved him, as this scourge ravaged his body.
Beloved friends of Gerald, there are some other things you should know about our brother.
Gerald knew God and God knew Gerald. In our last visit we prayed together and talked about God and miracles. Gerald believed in God and miracles and he had his Bible close by his beloved chair. In John's first letter to the early Christian church he wrote,
“Everyone who loves has been born of God, And knows God. Dear friends, no one has ever seen God; But if we love one another, God lives in us, And his love is made complete in us.” I John 4; 7,8,12
Fortunately, Gerald wrote his feelings about God in a card he made for his father. The following scriptures from John's gospel were typed in red. Once a person has communicated these essential tenets of the Christian faith, God never throws them back or abandons them.
“For god so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son. That whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
“Behold the lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world”.
“Except a man be born again, he can not see the Kingdom of God.'
“But as many as received him, to them gave he the power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name”.
And so I close by sharing with you the conviction that Gerald is free now and waiting on us in the arms of the angels just down the road. My eleven year old son Chance also believes that, and wrote a prayer on Gerald's behalf to God. Chance did not know Gerald, but gained his insights through the many stories about our times together.
“Dear God, please be with Jerold. Let him be in heaven doing whatever he wants. Thank you for taking him out of his pain. Now he isn't sad or scared. He is up in heaven with you. Please keep everyone strong through this time. Amen.” Then say, “God is great”.
Finally, Gerald was a prince of a friend, who carried himself with a regal humbleness. He was and remains our Prince as best described in another poem from his booklet.
How sweet I roamed From field to field And tasted all the summer's pride. Till I, the Prince of Love beheld Who in the sunny beams did glide.'
So, roam sweetly, our gentle and precious Prince of love, until in those sunny beams we again glide with you and God.
We love you “ger”.
Bill Hines | 5/31/2009 9:25:00 PMmark as inappropriate Gerald was my best friend in high school and during our time @ USM. He was certainly one of a kind as the ole saying goes. Big, strong and a heart about the size of Texas. I'm sad to say we drifted apart with little contact after that. But, I will always remember the times we experienced together. I wish I had known he was sick, and could have visited with him before he left this world. My prayers and condolences to the Collums Family in this time of great loss.
