This weekend, children all over the country will celebrate their mothers by sending her a card, making her a gift or just spending extra time with her.
For 15 teenage girls in Lowndes County who have lost their mothers, this Mother’s Day weekend holds something extra.
On Saturday, Janie Guyton Shields, coordinator of Life Enrichment Programs at Mississippi University for Women, hosted a Mother’s Day Tea for motherless daughters at Events on 5th in downtown Columbus. Shields sent out invitations to girls ranging in ages 9 through 20, all of whom lost their mothers early in life.
Shields’ own mother, Diane Guyton, died from heart failure in 2005 when Shields was in college. This will be the 11th Mother’s Day since she died.
“I can remember how sad I was on Mother’s Day and the weekend leading to it,” Shields said. “I can remember feeling so alone the following Mother’s Day (after my mother died). I didn’t want these girls to have the same feeling.”
A group effort
Shields had the idea for a long time to take a handful of girls who had lost their mothers out for lunch on Mother’s Day. She made a Facebook post telling friends about the idea and asked them to let her know of any girls who would like an invitation. She expected about five names. By the end of the first day, she had the names of 15 girls. Around 20 people had volunteered to help with the event.
Shields and her husband, Cataurus, paid for the girls’ meals. Volunteers paid for the girls’ families to eat, and others offered to help put the event together. One volunteer gave the girls’ vacations.
‘I’m happy for the people I have in my life’
Jasmine Harris, 15, who attends Columbus High School, was invited to the Mother’s Day tea. Her mother died in 2012 from cancer. Harris described her mom as strong, independent and God-fearing. Harris remembers her mother had long hair and would help anyone.
“She was the greatest mom ever,” Harris said.
Most Mother’s Days, Harris attends church and then visits her mother’s grave.
Attending the graves of their mothers during Mother’s Day weekend seems to be fairly common for people who lost their moms. Shields does it, as does another Columbus High student who attended the lunch, 16-year-old Tierra Ledbetter.
When Ledbetter was 10, her mother was shot and killed. She doesn’t know much about her mother, but people have told her she looks like her. Mother’s Day is a difficult day for her.
“I feel lonely,” she said. “And with my situation, I think I feel lost because I never got to meet her.”
Still, Ledbetter has mother figures in her life, most notably her grandmother and her godmother.
“In a way, I’m kind of happy, or thankful, for the people I do have in my life, my family (members) who can be mother figures,” Ledbetter said.
She was excited to be invited to the Mother’s Day Tea. She looked forward to meeting and talking with others who lost their mothers.
‘We want to show that God heals’
The tea party included not only food, but prayers, motivational speakers and dancers from Wherehouse Dance Company, who volunteered to perform.
“We just want to make sure that we show that God heals, God heals our heart,” Shields said.
Shields remembers her own mother as a courageous, strong, loving woman. She would have been 50 in October, Shields said. She had been diagnosed with lupus when Shields was born.
Growing up, Shields and her mother would spend Mother’s Day with Shields’ great-grandmother. They would go to church and then eat together.
Shields and her family spend the Saturday before Mother’s Day cleaning off the tombstone of her mother and grandmother and placing flowers on them. The tombstone for Shields’ mother was a Mother’s Day gift to Shields from her husband after their son, Brady, 3, was born.
Shields knows her mother would be proud of her and the special celebration Shields and all the volunteers set up for motherless daughters.
“I want to put a smile on their faces for Mother’s Day,” Shields said about the girls invited to the tea. “I know how sad Mother’s Day can be when you’re missing your mom and everyone around is celebrating their mom. So I just wanted them to smile.”
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