Granted, I am not Moses, and these are not exactly Biblical commandments, but when it comes to beauty, I can write the book. To follow are a few well-versed commandments that might not be carved into stone, but if followed, they might bless you with a beautiful summer.
- Commandment One: Thou shall toss thy old mascara, for it only has a shelf life of three months tops. In the same vein, thou shall replenish moisturizers, night creams and hair products every two to three months. The ingredients weaken after opened, so exercise thy strong arm and toss ”em.
- Commandment Two: Thou shall not adorn thy body with thong underwear and low rise bottoms on the same day. It”s ungodly!
- Commandment Three: Thou shall honor thy God-given skin tone when selecting foundation. Seek the help of a professional if needed. Message me. I know a few wise ones!
- Commandment Four: A youthful spirit is to be desired, but dressing room mirrors don”t lie, angel. If thou must hold thy breath, suck in thy stomach or lunch standing up, it”s probably too small.
- Commandment Five: Thou shall do as I say and not as I do. Drink at least eight glasses of water a day for healthy glowing skin. Put in a little fresh lemon; it”s nothing short of a miracle for those who aren”t water drinkers.
- Commandment Six: Thou shall not damage thy skin with overexposure to the sunlight. Instead thou shall possess faux self tanners, bronzers and thank me when thou art older.
- Commandment Seven: Thou shall not kill thy self-esteem with negative thoughts. Thou shall live each day with positive affirmations of love, acceptance and humor. Lift up the confident one inside. Hallelujah!
- Commandment Eight: Thou shall reserve time for a regular manicure and pedicure. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, plus a ceremony for hands and feet is just heavenly.
- Commandment Nine: It”s summertime for crying out loud, so call in sick to work … just take a break for one day. I command thee. Be sure to tell your boss that I said it would be fine!
- Commandment Ten: Salads are our friend with dressing on the side most any day, but just once a week, eat burritos, chocolate cake or chicken dumplings. A little indulgence now and then does the body — and the spirit — good.
The Dispatch Editorial Board is made up of publisher Peter Imes, columnist Slim Smith, managing editor Zack Plair and senior newsroom staff.
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