Christopher is like plenty of 9-year-old boys: He’s a Mississippi State Bulldogs fan and likes Xbox video games. Baseball, soccer and swimming rank high on his list. He is learning mixed martial arts and is a whiz with Legos. But Christopher is also living without his father. The Lowndes County youth is one of a staggering number of children growing up in America without their fathers in the home. For them, Father’s Day is “just another day.”
For many of these children, their father has packed up his belongings and gone. Others never knew their fathers, or experienced the tragic death of their fathers. For boys, growing up fatherless presents its own difficulties as they search for role models to follow into manhood. Following the wrong ones is all too common, dramatically raising statistics on high school dropout rates, homelessness, incarcerations, and a roster of other painful social issues.
Christopher is fortunate: He is part of the Fathers in the Field ministry. The national program is designed to pair “field buddies” — fatherless boys ages 7 to 17 — with “mentor fathers” who are willing to be encouragers and listeners, to help build Christian character, to help boys meet challenges and reach their God-given potential.
“‘Intentional’ is a key word,” said Kevin Drewry of Columbus. The Southeastern regional missionary works with churches in 12 Southern states to increase outreach to fatherless boys. “Fathers in the Field is a three-year intentional mentoring ministry. It is a Christian ministry, but non-denominational.”
The program provides structure for men willing to make a yearly commitment for a three-year period to a buddy, recognizing that it takes six months or more for a fatherless boy to trust that his mentor father is there for him and cares for him without expectations of return. The goal is to not only to help boys become good citizens, said Drewry, but to see their hearts healed through grace.
“Some of these boys have had a pretty tough go-round,” he remarked.
“We’re not asking a man to change his life; we’re just asking him to bring a child into his life,” continued Drewry, who attends Fairview Baptist Church. The Fathers in the Field ministry is strong there. In the Columbus area, more than a dozen men have answered the call. Many more are needed.
Drewry, who also praises the work done by others including The Father’s Child Ministries and Palmer Home for Children, currently works with several churches in Columbus — First Baptist Church, Border Springs Baptist Church and Community Baptist Church, among them. He hopes to involve many others from the Golden Triangle area.
Stepping up
Mentor fathers are asked to bring their field buddy to church at least twice each month; to commit to serve someone, especially widows, in their community with their buddy; and to do something fun together every month.
A church champion in each participating church oversees recruitment of mentor fathers and field buddies. He meets monthly with mentors, who have undergone background checks and other evaluation.
“It’s so simple; a man doesn’t have to be a Bible scholar to do it,” said Drewry, a mentor father himself. “He just has to have a willing and caring and trustworthy heart; we don’t ever want to tell a child we’re going to do something and not follow through.”
Relating
Mike Lum is Christopher Stewart’s mentor father. He brings unique perspective to the relationship.
“I grew up without a father,” Lum began. “My father left home when I was 11 months old; I never knew him. When I was introduced to this ministry at (Fairview Church) I felt like the Lord was calling me to mentor a child. It’s been a joy to me … ”
Through activities like fishing, baseball games at MSU and trips to the bowling alley, young Christopher has learned he has a friend he can count on.
“And we go to church, and I like learning about God,” the boy said.
His mother, Courtney Stewart, added, “This has been 100 percent a good decision. … I’m so grateful to Mr. Mike. … These kids have been let down so much with expectations, but if Mr. Mike ever says he’s gong to be there, he’s there. It’s a consistent and positive influence. At this point, Christopher considers him more than a mentor — more like family.”
Robert Gable’s field buddy is Derriquon Harris, who just turned 14. The two recently spent the day cutting grass, weed eating and hauling branches for a widow they enjoy helping. They also hunt, catch occasional breakfasts together or just spend time hanging out at Gable’s home, with his wife and two little girls, ages 1 and 2.
A milestone moment for them occurred on a hot August day in 2013, when Derriquon was baptized by his mentor father and proclaimed his public testimony.
“At the end of the day, God calls us to take care of widows and orphans, and this is an extension of that gospel,” Gable said. “This is a way of participating and sharing that with other folks — and it is definitely rewarding.”
David Dees is the college pastor and associate minister of youth at Fairview Church. His 14-year-old field buddy is Isaiah Hunter. Dees talked about the impact of monthly mentor meetings with Fairview’s church champion, Keith Fortenberry.
“We use that time for encouragement and prayer for each other,” Dees explained. “We talk about some of the good things going on and maybe some of the struggles that we have and pray for situations some of the boys might be going through.”
Women’s ministries are encouraged to get involved, too, offering invaluable insight into needs and challenges faced by single moms raising boys. Women’s groups can act as important liaisons.
For Drewry, the mission is clear — to grow Fathers in the Field, to find men in churches who have a heart to invest in a fatherless boy.
“I want to see men and women be inspired to take up the cause,” he said. “Every one of us has a God-given responsibility to defend the cause of the fatherless.”
Editor’s note: Learn more at fathersinthefield.com. Kevin Drewry can be reached at 662-897-9090. Follow Fathers in the Field on Facebook.
Jan Swoope is the Lifestyles Editor for The Commercial Dispatch.
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